Things I’m Not Over

3 Dec

Hello darlings,

I have years of bullshit to get off my chest right now. I am hoping that typing very loudly will get all of this out of my system, so I can lead a normal life again. There are events that have happened to me throughout my lifetime that I am just not over. Some of these things are so minor and petty that you will think I’m being ridiculous, and if that’s the case, you have a lot to learn in life. And you can get the fuck off of my website. For those who feel my pain, maybe we can work through this together, to get over those who have wronged us in life. I think it’s what Jesus would want us to do. Don’t you?

  • I made “Quincy” on The Sims, & then the laptop crashed: When I realized last year that my winter would be spent listening to my boyfriend scream at 12 year olds playing Call of Duty, I decided if I couldn’t beat him, I’d join him…by gaming myself. So I illegally downloaded The Sims 2 onto his laptop and got addicted like poor people did to crack in the 1980’s. I slowly made Sim versions of all of my friends. Then I made all of my enemies and made them fall in love with eachother, then made them cheat on eachother, then made them fist fight, then killed them. Pretty soon, I had nearly reconstructed my city, and it was thriving. Until my boyfriend’s laptop shit the bed and caused the Sim-pocalypse. They must not have used my checklist to prepare themelves to survive, because none of my Sims made it out alive. It was more frustrating than building a Sim mansion, playing live version, then realizing that you forgot a smoke detector and a phone…but the mansion is already on fire because Mortimer Goth wanted to make pancakes. 
  • Alex Trebek shaved off his mustache: He had that mustache for years! Why would he shave it?! It’s so confusing when people have mustaches their entire life, then shave it, and for the first few minutes you’re looking at them without the mustache, you can’t quite pin point what is different about their face. Mustaches are almost always creepy. But Alex Trebek is the only man capable in the world of looking creepier without a mustache. Why Alex? Prick…
  • The existence of salmon cream cheese: I worked at Dunkin Donuts in high school. And was horrified to learn that there is a salmon flavored cream cheese. And what’s worse is a guy ordered a bagel toasted with extra salmon cream cheese on it (saying “on it” means the customer is a gluttonous sloth who wants you personally to put the cream cheese on the bagel for them). At the time of this request, I was hungover. I’m not over it. 
  • George & Fred Weasley are not hot…at all: I guess this is why the book is always better than the movie. They just seemed so hot in my mind when I read about them in Harry Potter. Not to mention they were pranksters, and I love pranksters.  Don’t get me wrong, I know the Weasley’s are all gingers. But the twins seemed more like “daywalkers”, referring to a second class of gingers who have red hair, but not pale skin and glasses. I was dead wrong. 
  • Casper (from the movie “KIDS”) got AIDS: Spoiler Alert!: At the end of the movie “KIDS”, Casper gets AIDS. He was SO hot =( .To make matters worse, the actor who played Casper, Justin Pierce, killed himself in 2000. Not over it. 
  • Couples who sit next to eachother in booths at restaurants: Why do couples do this? Is it thrilling for them to make other people in the restaurant uncomfortable? Is this behavior considered a form of exhibitionism? Is this soft core porn? Can I tape this and sell it? Can it stop? Please?
  • Caillou: “Caillou did not want to not be a complete dick, but Caillou just is.” Seriously. This kid is the reason I fear children. And this kid is not even real. Caillou’s mom and dad need to adopt spanking into their daily chores. And his baby sister, Rosie, deserves a Happy Meal. 
  • Gladiators: I’m not talking about a swordsman from Rome. I’m talking about the ugliest footware I’ve seen after water shoes. It sure is ugly to be fashionable. 

I thought after talking about these actions, events, products, and other bullshit, that I’d be over them. But I’m really not. If this couldn’t do it, I guess I’ll stick to having another glass of cheap wine.


8 Responses to “Things I’m Not Over”

  1. Vanessa Bianca December 3, 2011 at 4:12 am #

    1. Salmon cream cheese is fucking nasty (fellow Dunkies worker here!), and EVERYONE that ordered it always ordered it ON IT. *puke*

    2. I had no clue that Justin Pierce killed himself, where the hell have I been for the past 12 years?

    3. Caillou sucks, and if my kid was anything like that, I’d probably take the way of Justin Pierce and kill myself.

  2. Kevin Bergin December 3, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

    Caillou? You apparently haven’t had the privilege of seeing Olivia. She’s this stuck up, bossy, entitled little bitch of a pig that I’m amazed that a kids’ network would even put on the air for fear of her becoming a role model.

    I’d rather eat a tub of Salmon cream cheese with a spoon than watch a minute of Olivia.

    • M.McKenna December 5, 2011 at 2:43 am #

      As I was reading this, I asked my sister, who has a 6 year old, if she knew who Olivia was. She agreed with you about Olivia being a suck up, bossy, entitled bitch. Why can’t cartoon children be more like Little Bill?

  3. Donyelle December 5, 2011 at 12:25 am #

    as a fellow dunkies worker (6 yrs) i am proud to annouce they recalled salmon cream cheese. I hated when someone would order a onion bagel with salmon cc. Disgusting. Haha. I will not let my daughter watch caillou. Hes spoiled and a total brat. I love this site. Keeps me laughing. Ps. Havent noticed the shaved mustache till you pointed it out lol

    • M.McKenna December 5, 2011 at 2:41 am #

      I am pleased to hear about the salmon cream cheese recall. And yes, Caillou = brat. Thank you for your feedback and for reading, I am trying to spread the word so tell your friends about It is greatly appreciated =)

  4. Stevo March 10, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    Couples who sit beside each other in restaurant booths are frigging freaks. I agree, please stop for fuck sakes.

  5. Kyra August 7, 2012 at 8:53 am #

    I’m not sure if this was just one person who wrote the things they’re not over, or mutiple. But I am here today to say: well done. I’m 19 and am constantly looking for websites that dont bullshit or beat around the bush about things that both should not exist nor should happen on this planet. You have just completed my life.

  6. Jimmy C September 14, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    Casper from Kids killed himself? Terrible… he made that movie

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