I’m really mad at Rider Strong

5 Dec

BEFORE YOU BEGIN READING THIS ENTRY: Please do not leave comments telling me to leave Rider Strong alone. If you do feel the need to write a comment in his defense, maybe you should question your own sanity. THIS ENTIRE ENTRY AND EVERYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE IS A JOKE. Don’t be an asshole.

Recently, I’ve gotten so fed up with the “Just sayin'”, head shaking, avid gym go-er’s of the Facebook community, that I’ve been spending a lot of time tweeting. I like to come up with weekly Twitter retweet goals so that I can feel like I accomplished something more than a 40+ hour work week. After my first week, I had received a retweet from both Ben and Fred Savage. For those of you who didn’t watch good television shows growing up, Fred Savage is Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years, and more recently was the voice for Oswald, the cartoon octopus on Nick Jr. who says, “Oh my gosh” in the most adorable manner. Ben Savage was Corey Matthews on Boy Meets World and is also a total fox. Ben was lovely, and even told me to have a great week in his retweet. I give Fred credit for retweeting me, but wish he had said something instead of just retweeting, and I let him know about this by tweeting him: “I hate to be picky, but its very Kevin Arnold of you to retweet me without saying something in reply @thefredsavage #sorry“. Even still, these retweets encouraged me to change my goal to getting retweets from the three main characters of Boy Meets World. A friend of mine had a picture of himself with Danielle Fishel (Topanga), and told me that I could use the picture to get my retweet. So I told Topanga that if she didn’t retweet me in a timely manner, I would rat her out for cheating on Corey Matthews with the guy she took the picture with. By the end of the day, Topanga had conceded to my threat and I got a retweet from her. I was ecstatic. I had almost accomplished my weekly Twitter goal and my deadline wasn’t up yet. I just needed 1 more retweet from the BMW crew and then could move on to my next week’s goal early and begin attempting to get a retweet from Malcolm Jamal Warner (Theo from The Cosby Show). Rider Strong was the last actor standing in my way. But could I count on Rider? No, I could not. It has been almost 3 weeks, and still no retweet from Shawn Hunter. Here are some of my attempts (Rider = @onthestorm):

  • Alright @onthestorm I got a RT from the entire Boy Meets World cast. Tell me your not gonna ruin it 4 me Mr Hunter…hit me with a RT!
  • Remember the time you put a cherry bomb in a mailbox @onthestorm ? Feeney doesn’t have to find out if you give me a retweet #blackmail
  • Thinking of retreating to a remote cabin like the one in Cabin Fever to live my life in solitude if @onthestorm doesn’t retweet me today.
  • You know what @onthestorm ?! I don’t need you and your retweet!!!! #Drunktweet

I tried so hard, and was still shut down. So Mr. Hunter, I’m calling you out. I hope you relive the pain of Angela dumping you forever, that’s right, dwell in sitcom purgatory. You could have just retweeted me. But instead, you’ve made an enemy. An enemy who has this picture of you:

Feeney would be so disappointed. And you know what else? When everyone encouraged you to go to college Shawn Hunter, I always thought to myself, “He’s not college material”. Tweet on THAT, Rider Strong! More like Rider WEAK!

UPDATE: I got my retweet from Rider Strong after sending him this article. Needless to say he wasn’t pleased. But now I can move on to another child star. And he retweeted BOOM!


2 Responses to “I’m really mad at Rider Strong”

  1. Stephanie December 11, 2011 at 5:35 am #

    Ahhhh!!!! Now I know who your talkin about! I’m so glad that I no longer Suck at life!! Haha

  2. Courtney March 27, 2012 at 5:49 pm #

    Hey Molly about 7 years ago me and my friends ran into Rider Strong at a Piano Bar in Boston…My Friend runs upto him drunk and proceeds to say how she watches repeats of Boy Meets World on Disney ALL THE TIME! haha for the rest of the night she tried to find him to show me…def prolly thought we were stalking his Boyish Ass.

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