5 Reasons That Chicks Should Like Call of Duty by Mystery Blogger

20 Dec

I guess I set myself up for this one with that post I wrote, “Duty Calls” (the anti-COD entry). Enjoy this, brought to you by the mystery blogger.

5 Reasons That Chicks Should Like Call of Duty
  1. What your boyfriend could be doing instead of Call of Duty: Ok ladies, so your boyfriend has been playing Call of Duty non-stop since the first edition of the game came out. It’s a lot better than some of the alternatives out there. At least he isn’t booting black tar heroin, or blowing a line of coke off some hookers snatch. He isn’t robbing banks, and he’s not out there cheating on you with some dumb whore. Nope, the love of your life is at home with you. He is sitting at your side, or at least somewhere near you. Now is actually the perfect time to tell him anything you want, although he may not be paying that much attention, he is still there and its not like he going anywhere for at least a few more games, or until he gets angry enough and throws his controller across the room.
  2. The game is a stress reliever: Has your boyfriend been yelling at you less frequently since you purchased that game for him? Any idea of why you think these two things might be matching up. He’ll be getting so angry at 10 year old Chinese boys and yelling irate things at random strangers that you seem like the nicest and most easy going person in the world. Just make sure to be on his side involving in-game arguments. Nothing will make us madder than when we’re angry as can be, yelling something out loud and we hear your little chuckle from next to us. If you agree with us, and say something just as nasty and vulgar about the person that we’re beefing with, than it’s almost like your at war with us ready to kick some pre-pubescent ass.
  3. That glazed look Molly talks about, it’s a good thing: Everyone knows about that glazed look Molly was talking about. She even provided a visual aid of her man with that actual look on his face. Well ladies, this look is a good thing. It means that the wheels are turning, the light is on, our brains are actually in overdrive at that point. Our brains are trying to gather all sorts of past information that we have stored, apply it to what we are doing at that moment, as well as trying to use that information to help us in the near future. We’re sorry that during this complex brain activity we don’t have time to pose for a smile. This look on our faces is actually the same look we implore while thinking of your Christmas present, or while remembering our anniversary. So the next time you see this look, just think that something amazing is going in that head of ours.
  4. We remember, we always remember: I forget what I had for breakfast, I have no clue who the 20th President of the United States was; but I know exactly who got me my Call of Duty game, when it was bought, how much was paid for it, the weather outside while it was being bought, the color shoes the person was wearing while they gave it to me and so on and so forth. Videos games are such a nostalgic pastime for guys, we grew up with it, we’ve had it for as long as we can remember and its one of the few things that get to keep from our childhood as we grow up. So ladies, don’t hesitate about buying this game for us, we will always remember that you got it for us and be eternally grateful for it. Otherwise, we will just buy it ourselves and you’ll get no credit for it.
  5. A little free time for you: While we are playing Call of Duty, we don’t do really anything else that doesn’t take 2 minutes to do in between games (i.e. eat, smoke). While were playing games, this gives you the option to do anything that doesn’t involve the TV that we’re using. You can do whatever you want, while most guys would suggest cooking, cleaning and doing their laundry you should do whatever makes you happy, whatever your “call of duty” is. Write a blog like Molly, go online and do a little shopping. Whatever you do, please don’t just sit there and complain about how long its been since we took a break, we know how long its been.
Afterthought: A Few Reasons we prefer Call of Duty to chicks, sorry ladies.
    • A video game has never talked back to me and I can yell at the game and the people playing the game as much as I want without getting in trouble. I cannot say the same for myself if I told my girlfriend the same things I tell the people on Call of Duty, she would have my balls in a vice grip.
    • If I’m too tired or just had enough I can always just turn it off whenever I want. I can also mute it if I can take listening to it anymore. There is no off button on females as much as we wish there would be, and a mute button on a female would be the greatest invention of all time that will never exist.

One Response to “5 Reasons That Chicks Should Like Call of Duty by Mystery Blogger”

  1. stephanie December 20, 2011 at 6:58 pm #

    I think that the guys that play these games for hours at a time are turning into zombies……literally!! They may be sitting next to you in body but other than that they are off in a land that us girls just do not go to

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