The Molly Diet

2 Jan

I was watching Chelsea Lately this past weekend and during the round table, Chelsea was saying that people who don’t tell anyone they are dieting are more likely to succeed in losing weight. So that got me thinking that maybe I would finally have a successful diet if I announce via my website that I am going on a diet, then a few days after I break the diet due to announcing it, I’ll start a secret diet. But I won’t tell anyone when I break the first diet, so no one will know I’m on the secret diet. That is going to be the secret to my success. So, consider this my diet announcement, okay? And by “diet”, I mean “The Molly Diet”, which is:

  • No fast food unless it’s the fries from the bottom of the bag.
  • No buffalo chicken nachos.
  • Only drinking  once or twice a week unless of course it’s a 3 day weekend or special occasion like Cinco De Mayo or Columbus day or any Boston sports teams are in playoff games (this also cancels out the “no buffalo chicken nachos” rule).
  • Chugging  lots of water (Goal is to pee 12 times per day).
  •  MAYBE hitting the elliptical. Don’t want to get TOO crazy.
  • Eat some oatmeal from time to time. Apple cinnamon.
  • Um, that’s all. Not trying to starve myself or live a terrible life or anything, jeez.

So I’ll let you know how this goes and maybe you can try my diet. But remember, if you see me in public and I’ve lost no weight, that means the secret diet hasn’t begun yet, so keep your opinions to your fucking self. Good luck to me!

PS: The Molly Diet is not FDA approved. And probably never will be.


2 Responses to “The Molly Diet”

  1. funny memes September 25, 2013 at 2:44 am #

    I’m curious to find out what blog system you have been using?
    I’m having some minor security probleks with my latest blog and I’d like to find something more secure.
    Do you have any suggestions?

    • Molly September 25, 2013 at 2:49 am #

      I use wordpress and have no problems.

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