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The Ladies Room

5 Jan

I don’t know what it is, but there is something about the lady’s room that creates more girl power than the Spice Girl’s first album did. Actually, I do know what it is…it’s booze. This female empowerment really only is noticeable in bathrooms at bars or places where alcohol is served. The second you walk into that bathroom, all liquored up, waiting in line for a stall with toilet paper, and you overhear some chick ahead of you talking to her girlfriend about how her man be actin’ up, you are involved in that chick’s relationship. Oh no he didn’t! You don’t know this girl, but you start ranting about how much better she is than her boyfriend that you’ve never seen nor met. And her girlfriend is relieved to have back up in this man bash you’ve gotten into. They are so thrilled with you that when the first stall becomes available, they are like, “You go first, please, you have to pee more than we do”, because at this point, they feel you. They don’t just feel you and what your all about, they can feel what is inside your soul, and what is inside your bladder. And you’re all yelling, and bitching as you pee, like a complete fucking psycho with no direction in life. They are passing you toilet paper under the door because the bitch who peed before you is a soulless being with no sense of unity toward her fellow women or compassion for those who are left to fend for themselves in this cold, inner city stall. Your rant goes on forever since you waited 3 hours before breaking the seal, in between your bitching you are complimenting various shoes you see in the stalls next to you that you don’t even like, you just love to empower these girls. Then you are done. You wash your hands, check in on Facebook to the establishment you are at before drying your hands, probably causing water damage to you phone, then you try to make yourself appear less drunk by putting your hair in a messy up-do that looks sexy through beer goggles, and then you leave. When you get back to your seat you start bitching to your girlfriend about how obnoxious and drunk the girls in the bathroom were, taking mirror pictures of themselves and being pathetic about guys. As soon as you leave the bathroom, the bond is over, you’re not in the market for new friends. If only girls could be this loyal to each other all the time, and maybe stop calling other girls fat slut whores. GIRL POWER!

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3 Responses to “The Ladies Room”

  1. stephanie January 5, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    Friggin right man!!!!
    I’ve even been in the bathroom doing some strangers lipstick cause she sucked at putting it on or the color was bad and i gave her mine……….hmmmm, i’m strange

  2. Deirdra January 5, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    Hahahaha guilty!

  3. Jess January 6, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    hahaha awesome

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