Creepy Siblings

19 Jan

Have you ever seen a man and woman holding hands walking to Tony’s Clam Shop for icecream, only to learn that they are brother and sister? I bet you haven’t, and neither have I, but I have met siblings that act a little too close for comfort. It’s not just a close relationship in that they hangout in the same group, but close in that they literally flirt with each other and share way too much personal information. I’ve met a few set of siblings who act like this, and it’s not okay. It’s actually more than not okay, it’s deplorable. There are certain ways to tell if a brother and sister you know are incestuous. If you meet any siblings who do the shit I am about to list, you need to put them in a boat and send them off into Wollaston beach and tell them not to stop rowing until they reach Narnia.

  • Creepy phone conversations: Incestuous brothers and sisters will be on the phone and if you listen closely, you will hear way too much giggling going on. And if this person is in your presence, and is a female, it’s likely that she will be twirling her hair with her finger as she giggles. There is something wrong here, because guess what? Nothing is ever so funny that you giggle on the phone with your opposite sex sibling. Nothing. Brothers and sisters do not giggle with each other over the age of 10.
  • They talk about an unseen “connection”: Creepy siblings are always rambling about this “connection” that they have with each other. Connection? Westside Connection? Pizza Connection? What the fuck “connection” are you speaking of? Yeah, you have the same mom and dad, if that’s what you mean by “connection”. Only twins have ESP, don’t be a sick weirdo.
  • Creeping on Facebook: Brothers/Sisters that are too close are often all over their sibling’s Facebook page. Or they put up statuses like, “I wish my brother were here with me. In my bed.”, and things of that nature. They also post disturbing pictures of themselves together, like the kind of pictures couples take when they are in comfy attire and have been having a cozy, rainy day together and want to capture it on film.
  • They get jealous: When half of the sibling duo gets into a relationship, the other half gets all jealous and acts like a hard ass around the new boyfriend/girlfriend. They get mad at their sibling for ditching them for their new love interest. They aren’t welcoming of new people into the family and express their feelings with voodoo dolls, dirty looks, and curb kicks.
  • They discuss their love lives with each other: The thought of an opposite sex sibling’s love life  is something that should make you feel like you are going to throw up in your mouth a little bit. You should under no circumstances be discussing this shit with your opposite sex sibling. The only exception to this is if one of the siblings is dating a douche, in which case it’s okay for them to intervene and say, “Hey, we don’t want a douche in the family. So cut the shit.” Otherwise, don’t get involved.
  • They kiss: Not just like a kiss on the cheek. They kiss like it’s their first kiss as a newlywed couple. For example: Gross…

2 Responses to “Creepy Siblings”

  1. Mac January 19, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

    I have a twin sister and despite the fact that we occasionally joke about the cliched ESP connection, we don’t engage in any of this incestuous behavior.

    • M.McKenna January 19, 2012 at 6:16 pm #

      My boyfriend’s brothers are twins and I am always asking them dumbass questions about ESP.

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