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How Does Life Go On?

23 Jan


Sad news. Heidi Klum and Seal are getting divorced. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming when Seal sent out an obscure tweet on Friday stating “The End”. So emo. Anyways though, Seal has been kissed by divorce papers on the gray (or was it the other way around? I don’t really know). Usually when Hollywood couples break up, I don’t give a fuck. But there are a certain few that I wanted to last. Heidi Klum and Seal were a couple I was really pulling for. Maybe I was pulling for them because they got engaged in an igloo, or maybe because, um, this is Seal: Either way, the statement the troubled couple released to People magazine makes me want to jump out of a fucking window. Couldn’t they have waited to announce this Friday? Because this is just too much for a Monday. And don’t even get me started on the topic of Halloween, because guess what? IT’S RUINED! Roses everywhere are wilting. Especially the rose in the movie Beauty and the Beast (no pun intended). I don’t know the reason for the divorce, but have heard it is due to Seal’s hard partying ways. Honestly, I think they just jinxed themselves by renewing their vows every fucking year (who does that?)  Well, I hope Seal is as happy as Jon Gosselin, because I’m left here to pick up the debris from the aftermath that is his divorce. Time keeps on slipping, slipping, and how does life go on? Where do I go from here? Do I call in sick? Do I drink excessively or look for some hardcore drugs to numb the pain? Do I tweet Seal and Heidi spiteful tweets? Do I listen to “Kiss from a Rose” on repeat, while looking at myself crying in the mirror? WHERE THE FUCK DO I GO FROM HERE?

No matter what Seal and Heidi’s relationship status be, the memory of them remain my power, my pleasure, my pain.

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