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Correlation Between TV Nerds & Being A Douche

9 Apr

Is there a correlation between 90’s childhood stars and being a complete douche? Some case studies:Tabloids are calling Jaleel White “Jerkel” for allegedly flipping the fuck out on his Dancing With The Stars partner, Kym Johnson. Supposedly Jaleel stepped on Kym’s foot accidentally, she exclaimed “Ouch!” and Jaleel got in her face for “acting like a baby”. His ex also is claiming that White abused her for years. I don’t know if this is true obviously, but Jaleel White definitely looks like a douche. If he wasn’t trying to be a dick to Kym Johnson when he stepped on her foot, he could have just brought his voice to that nasally Urkel level and asked her, “Did I dooooo thaaaaaaaaat?”. I mean, what would Carl Winslow do?

Unlike Jerkel, there isn’t even a question about whether or not Dustin Diamond is a douche. He is the biggest douche of all the former nerd child TV stars. Like, legit there is a website called DustinDiamondIsADICK.com. In the 2006 issue of Stuff Magazine, Dustin Diamond was voted 3rd most annoying child star that everyone wants to punch in the face (Corey Feldman and Danny Bonaduce beat him for 1st and 2nd place, makes me happy as I don’t want Screech having the satisfaction of winning 1st place at anything…even “most annoying” contests). Don’t believe that the adorkable Screech could be a douche? Watch season 5 of Celebrity Fit Club. He bitched about literally everything the trainers and nutritionists asked him to do. During his Screech years he isolated himself from the entire Saved By The Bell cast except for Mr. Belding. He wrote a tell-all about the cast of Saved By The Bell which alleges that Mark-Paul Gosselaar did steroids during the college years on the show. Leave Zack Morris alone!

Minkus. No evidence of douchebaggery. So I guess that proves that correlations and studies are all bullshit. Time to move along with my Monday.

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