Your Kid Is A Pussy.

25 Apr

I heard a story this past weekend that made me think that Quincy’s youth is going soft. In case you are not from around here, I guess I should first tell you about Piney. Piney is a peninsula turned island during high tide in the marsh by Black’s Creek. It’s one of those woodsy places teenagers go to start bonfires and binge drink and round second base. Piney is a solid place to go due to the fact that it’s a pain in the ass to get to. You have to follow a path out that starts behind an apartment complex and gets more narrow the further you walk, until eventually it stops and you are standing in front of a creek that is about 2 feet wide. At this point you look for the makeshift bridge that is an overturned shopping cart. Or you just jump the creek. Sometimes someone will fall in and you laugh while you walk, unless it’s you who fell in, because Wollaston beach water doesn’t smell so pretty. After you jump the creek you just kind of create your own path through whichever part of the marsh isn’t sinking/watery, until you reach the island and head into open spaces in the woods to hang for the night. Sometimes you will put your beers in a cooler and leave them there to chill while you go home for dinner, and you will get back and realize that Cleaner Greener Quincy has recycled your beers. Then you are pissed that you waited all day for that run and now have to rely on everyone elses’ kills to get a good buzz. But yeah, Piney is¬† kind of like White Rock, except slightly more of a pain in the ass to get to, which is a good thing when you consider that maybe cops are less likely to raid the place consistently. Or maybe cops will read this and raid it next weekend. Whatever, not my problem anymore. So now that you all know what Piney is, I’m sure you can relate it to a hangout spot from your own shitty hometown. Back to my story. I heard that a couple weekends ago there were cops at the entrance to the path leading to Piney and helicopters circling over Piney at around 1-2am. I guess what happened (and maybe I’m wrong, I haven’t seen it on so I very well could be) was that a group of drunken teenagers tried to head back to dry land to make their curfew. They found when they reached the edge of the island that it was high tide and CALLED THE COPS ON THEMSELVES. I don’t know, maybe I’m batshit crazy, but why the fuck would anyone call the cops and blow up their own spot?! Anytime that happened back when I was in high school, about 7 years ago, you suck it up, take your shoes and socks off, roll up your pants, and you walk through that shit. If it’s too deep to walk through, you fucking walk through it anyways and if need be, you SWIM through it. If you are worried about ruining your sneakers, don’t worry about it, you probably didn’t pay for them anyways. Santa did. And if you did pay for them, it’s not like Steve Madden will burn a giant hole in your pocket. Parents of teenagers who hangout at Piney are probably reading this thinking “Those kids sure are responsible to call the cops to return to main land in the safety of a helicopter. Gee whiz, I hope my little cherub would make the same decision in a similar situation”. Well guess what? If your kids call the cops on themselves while they are binge drinking at an island, and then are airlifted to safety, they are pussies. That is all.

Now go listen to Baba O’Riley and remember the days that YOU were boozing in the woods and getting action on a log behind a trash can while a random drunk dude was peeing on a nearby tree.


7 Responses to “Your Kid Is A Pussy.”

  1. Jasmin April 25, 2012 at 2:19 pm #

    hahahaha seriously called the cops on themselves? yep pussies for sure.

  2. Thewhaler (@TheWhaler) April 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

    wait did they really pick them up with a helicopter

    • M.McKenna April 25, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

      I don’t know. I just heard there was a helicopter flying above Piney due to stranded drunks. Might not even be true, could just be Quincy gossip my mom heard at work. I just had to comment on it in case it is true.

      • Felicia April 25, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

        Hahahhahahhahaah! This is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard! Hey, at least they can say they’ve been in a helicopter. A QPD one at that……

  3. Tony April 25, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

    You know I never understood why people would go out there for nature walks, that was aleays awkward as shit seein someone walking there dog.

  4. Brett April 25, 2012 at 10:28 pm #

    Wow, in my day (more Faxon Park than Piney, I’m from South Quincy) we would NEVER have conceded defeat and called for help! Of course, there were no cell phones either. I think sometimes technology is increasing the lame factor in people. Doesn’t say much for their ability to problem solve and overcome adversity! LOL. I’ve got a soft spot for Baba O’Riley BTW – I was singing it when I jumped Rampa, the highest jump in Swingle’s Quarry back in the day.

  5. nony July 6, 2012 at 7:38 pm #

    I know, cus u dealt with the True legends/cons/&one gay pornstar of wollaston,(and most of ur piney pals graduated withen 5 years of college) that u probably think the mount was trash central but I’m not quiete that generation (not far behind). neways you have to give it to that legend circa 05 summer (06 maybe) who tried to fight a cop, got pepper sprayed, and truly ended the glory days of the mount. at least he wasn’t a pussy. and here’s the kicker dnt remember first name but last was sullivan. of course

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