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Shitty Relationships

9 May

I got two emails the past two weeks asking me for advice regarding a similar problem: not letting go. Basically these two girls who emailed me are wondering if they should continue to stay in their shitty relationships. My answer is, if your relationships are shitty, then no. I won’t get into the specifics these girls gave me, because they were both pretty much the same. They’ve been with their boyfriend and ex boyfriend for a couple years. One girl was taking a “break” with her guy because she’s growing bored with the relationship after 2 years, and the other was trying to work shit out with her ex, who she broke up with because he cheated on her a few months ago with a fat chick while she away on vacation. Both relationships sound shitty. If you are like 21 years old and saying that you are “bored” with your boyfriend, just break up. What the fuck is the point of going on a “break”? And what is a “break” anyways? I’ll tell you what a break is: A break is an excuse to go out and do whatever you want to do and get away with it because, “Eh, eh, not so fast! You can’t bitch at me. We were on a BREAK when I hooked up with those two random dudes who were dry humping me on the dance floor at Commonwealth”. The only difference between breaks and a break UP is that one of you is too scared to sever all ties and be alone for once. Breaks are bogus, just break up and go do your own thing. If you want to whore it up, whore it up. If you want to actually be single and enjoy time to go out and dance with your girlfriends, then go out and fucking dance. You know you want to be somewhere else in life or you wouldn’t be on a “break”. Don’t be one of those girls who is afraid to be alone. Those kinds of girls are the annoying/whiny ones who are always bitching about their unhappy relationships, then do nothing about it. Same goes for guys. If you are “bored” and truly don’t want to break up, then spice shit up. Cook some buffalo chicken together and then make out. Go rock climbing on the quarries naked together, then make out. I don’t fucking know. YOLO. To the other girl with the cheating boyfriend: break up. Your boyfriend cheated on you with a fat chick while you were on spring break. He could have been on vacation with you, but he wasn’t. He was too busy having a fat chick eat fruit loops off his balls…or whatever it is fat chicks do when they are getting down with your boyfriend. Maybe you could team up with the fat chick and make buffalo chicken together and dance to “Can’t Hold Us Down”. I don’t know. Just stop wasting your time on a shitty relationship. YOLO. Good luck to both of you.

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One Response to “Shitty Relationships”

  1. Reereed May 9, 2012 at 9:45 pm #

    Haven’t had fruit loops since I was a kid and I’m sure I will NEVER be able to eat them again!

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