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The Blockbuster Guy: Where Is He Now?

14 May

So you guys might have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about in this blog because most people stopped going to Blockbuster after the 90’s, but not me. The Quincy Center Blockbuster closed like however long ago and I am wondering, what happened to the dude that worked there? The critic. There were a couple all star staff members in there, but you would know who I’m talking about if you ever met this dude. He was the ultimate movie nerd. The only way I can describe him is by saying he looked like the comic book guy in the Simpsons. He also looked like he lives in his mom’s basement. Basically he was a fat dude, always sweating, with reddish hair and a beard. This guy knew every single movie ever made. Like legit, loves film. During checkout he would give customers unasked for and honest reviews on the movies they were renting. And after the unwanted babbling about the cinematography in Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead  and fun fact about Richard Gere sticking a gerbil up his ass during the filming of Pretty Woman, without fail this guy would list the movies and their due dates, followed up by “And the Swedish Fish and Snow Caps are due back next Friday” in the most monotone voice ever. Pretty good joke, guy. It got to the point that I wouldn’t rent anything without asking for this guy’s opinion first. I would walk up to the counter like 76 times with different movies and ask him which was better and he LOVED it. There was also another Blockbuster employee that only had a couple fingers and whenever the movie nerd would speak, the finger dude would have a look on his face like he was thinking “Fuck my life”. Anyways though, when I saw that the store was closed, my heart just broke for this guy. Like, what is he doing now that Blockbuster is closed? Blockbuster was his LIFE. My best bet is that he is sitting atop a broken down cardboard box next to a Red Box panhandling and rambling. All disheveled. Sour Patch Kid debris in his straggly beard. Or maybe he’s in his mom’s basement plotting ways to kill off Netflix. Maybe he is planning to make Human Centipede a trilogy with Netflix employees. Yikes. Too bad West Coast Video is closed, too. It could have prevented an incident. Now he has nowhere to apply. Poor dude.

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One Response to “The Blockbuster Guy: Where Is He Now?”

  1. The Insanity That Is Megs May 14, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

    Honestly I do KNOW Where he is. He went to blockbuster on the north shor, and I know this because I am a BB creep as well and bought an unreal amount of previously viewed BB movies, only after his wonderful tell all (Wikipedia has nothing on that man’s knowledge of film). P.S- Just to add to my own embarrassment, I am pretty sure his name was either Gus or George.

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