“Can I Get A Ride?” & Other Dumb Shit People Ask On Facebook

19 Jun

There is nothing I love more than reading the threads under Facebook statuses that ask for rides/drugs. Well, there is one thing I love more, and that’s searching Facebook for freshly arrested morons that I read about on The ideal thing to find is a status from the night of their arrest that says “FML” or something. Love it. White trash never fails to disappoint: they keep their Facebook profiles public and write ALL of their business on social media. Like I said though, it’s a close second when I see people ask for rides/drugs via a status update. Like, do you have no shame asking an acquaintance for a ride to the courthouse? Take a fucking taxi. I guess it’s naive of me to think that they have the money for a taxi. In that case, take the bus. It’s fitting. And the drugs status are even better. Sometimes I will log in and strike gold on my newsfeed when I read a status that asks if anyone can get any percocets. But that’s just wishful thinking. Most of the time I just see a few “Anyone got any buddha? Hit me up!”. The responses are sometimes hilarious. Concerned family members telling their little cherubs that they are running with the wrong crowd. People asking if they should really be putting their “business” on Facebook like that. It kills me. I hope people who ask these kinds of questions on social media are reading this right now and feel like total assholes. Stop smoking, and I don’t usually tell potheads to stop smoking, but for these people I will make a special exception because the last thing they need is to lose more brain cells. I pray to Tupac that these people who ask for a drug connect online aren’t REALLY that stupid. That maybe they are just seeking some attention or something. Perhaps they want to be internet cool? Perhaps this is just the generation of fucking retards who think its acceptable and smart to ask for drugs on the same network that their parents are logged into. I hope these people fall for those random faux friend requests of “real people” they’ve never heard of who are their age, from their hometown, and have 78 mutual friends and a photo album of 3-4 super generic/obscure pictures ofย  groups of girls that can be found if you Google “stock images of group of teenagers”. For example:

Guess what smartypants? Those are either cops or your ex boyfriend’s new/batshit crazy girlfriend who wants to creep. Don’t believe me? Think you are just getting hit on? Well go to that person’s Facebook and check the About Me/quotes. I promise you that their info is filled with references to typical slang and hangout spots in your city or town, such as “My hobbies are hangin at the rock and chillin’ with my guuurrrllls!” And whether this strange friend request is 5-0 or the crazy new girlfriend, your status updates requesting someone to inbox you where the good sticky icky is doesn’t make it look like you’re a successful young professional with a promising life ahead of you. And you brag about your street smarts? Get it together.


22 Responses to ““Can I Get A Ride?” & Other Dumb Shit People Ask On Facebook”

  1. Allison F June 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm #

    Hey I ask for Buddha in statuses! and not only am I in for a promising future but whats the difference between me and someone who writes hangover statuses and asks all their girlfranndds to come out and get shitty with them?

    • M.McKenna June 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm #

      I didn’t say someone who does isn’t in for a promising future, I just said it doesn’t look great when people are asking for weed in exchange for rides, etc. I agree that weed and alcohol are on the same level…but a future employer who looks at a potential candidate on Facebook might not when there is a drug test involved. Maybe that sucks, but it’s true. My point is, why ask for something like that on Facebook? If I were 18 I wouldn’t be asking Facebook friends to get me a run on my statuses. Maybe I should have clarified that. Either way, my blog is not meant to be taken seriously.

    • trollhunter June 19, 2012 at 7:14 pm #

      Asking for weed on facebook is retarded. You are slow if you do that. It can blow peoples spots up and your own. Thats if you care. Talking about drinking is different if its not an everyday thing. On top of that any molly posts I’ve seen about acohol are either satirical or saying a mistake was made. Hardly the same as asking for something like weed. Should have a connect anyways if you’re a smoker. Such foolishness. You should probably lay off the herb if you can’t think that through.———there are gods among men———-

    • dotrat June 19, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

      How old are you Allison ? I pray you say your not over 20. And I’m saying 20 because anything over 20 would make you LOOK like a complete loser (note iI’m not saying you ARE a loser) for asking for weed on facebook. & whats the difference between askin for weed and alcohol? Hm. . I don’t even feel like wasting my time typing out such an oblivious answer. Don’t get me wrong I’m not naive and saying ” drugs are baddddd dont touch them!” I’m a recovering drug addict so I’m not judging but like come onnn asking for drugs on facebook is like yelling “heyyy guys look at me I’m wicked cool I smoke weed” if you really smoke weed wouldn’t you have dealers or friends to call to get it?

  2. Grow up June 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    I find it very immature when someone posts statuses about smoking weed, like really? grow up. This isnt middle school where its cool to smoke weed, ya its acceptable in some social circles, like hipster/hippies losers. How is one suppose to get a REAL job when they cant even pass a drug test or when their future but doubtful employer sees on facebook that they smoke weed everyday all day. How my tax money treating you?

    • sizzlack June 19, 2012 at 7:06 pm #


      • M.McKenna June 19, 2012 at 7:18 pm #

        This just made me lol.

      • trollhunter June 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm #


  3. The Truth June 19, 2012 at 7:26 pm #

    Dear M.McKenna. Well I read this and thought, If you have friends who does that, why you just dont delete them, if it is stupid? Right now you’re the one seeking attention, how can you go so far, to jugde people who smoke weed, like potheads? I am 16 years old, living in the little country Denmark. When I read this, however or whoever you are, I can say, you’re knowledge and arguments, are bad. Jugdeing out of this, 1st if you dont like what people type on Facebook, once aging delete them? As you said is a social network, and people should not be jugded as potheads, or poor people, for asking about something. Thats very low done of you, some people can be in a hard time sometimes. And weed is not even harmfull, if you look on, alcohol and cigarettes thats dangerous. Well I do not have much to say to this, if you now want to comment, on weed is not harmfull, then you need some good arguments,

    This is not meant, to be saying like, you’re an idiot or stupid.
    But, I think you’re having, some bad arguments, and that you might be talking abit, from the police and system’s side that we’re living in.

    Whole point of this, do not jugde people, when you dont know anything about them or what situation they’re in, makes you look like you think, you’re better then them, for not asking, for some weed to smoke or asking for a ride. Like you know what is right to ask, and whats stupid and wrong to ask.

    All together, I will not jugde you, but remember we’re all the same as humans.
    Do not let anger or stupid system, we’re living in controll you’re way of thinking.


    16 years old boy from Denmark.

    • Jazzy June 19, 2012 at 7:39 pm #

      you obviously don’t get the point of this blog… seriously… it is stupid to ask for something illegal pubilicy and assume that nothing is going to happen from it.. Employers do search for you FB page when you get hired.. It happns… the point is why would you act like an 16yr old when you are an adult? But here in America where she is living Weed is illegal therefore it is harmful when you can go to jail and leave your kids without a parent..
      but this blog is all in fun and humor not a spew of knowledge or facts or her even saying she is completly right and everyone else is wrong.. It’s for amusement.

      • trollhunter June 19, 2012 at 7:54 pm #

        Bingo. Jazzy hit the nail on the head. It’s satirical with some truth to. Weed is illegal on the U.S. and further more you are 16 and are not fully mentallu developed. I used to thing like that. You get older amd views change. Not knocking you. And alison is prob 16 also because she is thinking like a kid. If not then lay off the herb and clear your mind. I loved weed btw and my friends still do. They just dont post about it because they understand consequences. ———there are gods among men——-

    • M.McKenna June 19, 2012 at 7:40 pm #

      Dear 16 year old boy from Denmark,

      I don’t delete these people because I think it’s funny. It doesn’t bother me. I write a blog about nothing. Please know that I am for the legalization of marijuana. I don’t judge people who smoke it. Or who do anything. People can do what they want. Though I’ve made the decision not to smoke it now, I HAVE been a smoker at one point. Did you know that alcohol is WORSE for us than smoking? Yup, it is. I am not taking a dig at smokers. Or at poor people (not sure where that came from but I’m assuming because I told people who ask for rides on Facebook to take the bus). This entire website is satire. I make fun of myself in almost every post. That being said, everything I write is also my opinion, as you are entitled to yours. People just need to be aware of what they are posting on the internet. As for not judging people’s situations in life, okay, I hear you on that. BUT I don’t think there is an excusable situation in which anyone is considered to be acting wisely when they ask for any kind of illegal substance on the internet. Maybe they should delete me! ๐Ÿ˜‰ You say I am on the police’s side, but no, I am not. Just poking fun at people who ask for weed and rides online. It’s a joke, don’t take it so seriously! Thanks for reading!

      -25 Year Old Girl From Massachusetts

    • Ginger June 19, 2012 at 7:44 pm #

      Are you writing this high? I cannot understand anything you’ve just typed. Why don’t you study the english language and grammar before saying “weed is not harmful”. As an occaisional smoker myself, i do realize that the smoke is harmful to my lungs but I dont care at this moment in my life. “People can be in hard time”… yeah how about spend your money on important things and not drugs. I’m pretty sure the “hard times” will be less of a struggle that way… Just Sayin’ ๐Ÿ˜‰

      P.S. WOOHOO! My favorite blog made it to Denmark!! Congrats Molly!

      • M.McKenna June 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm #

        Thank you! I know, I was surprised at the Denmark thing myself…weirddd!

      • The Truth June 19, 2012 at 8:02 pm #

        True my grammar might suck but learning is a part of life is it not? Alcohol is a part of drugs to.. so many of us must be using money’s on not important stuff… I can tell you that if you smoke pot then you will get better lungs capacity and it will not damages your lungs… dont think that’s true? go study… like me going to study my english grammar better ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • M.McKenna June 19, 2012 at 8:05 pm #

        Ohhh boy.

      • M.McKenna June 19, 2012 at 8:11 pm #

        You know 16 year old boy from Denmark, you’re growing on me. You have heart.

    • bj561 June 19, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

      Clearly Denmark kid doesnt know much about the South Shore.

    • dotrat June 19, 2012 at 10:00 pm #

      She doesn’t delete then because she like reading their hilariously retarded statuses, next time you want to comment on somebody else’s opinion make sure you read it correctly, little boy ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. The Truth June 19, 2012 at 8:40 pm #

    Well by looking on everyone who replyed to me. I understand what you’re trying to say and I was a little out of that this is some for fun/humor blog, and im not out on beeing an idiot.

    But i leave it here. Well I apologizes if i misunderstood this blog.

    Thanks for the replys M.McKenna and Ginger and Jazzy and Trollhunter.

    • M.McKenna June 19, 2012 at 8:41 pm #

      Don’t apologize. You are awesome!

      • trollhunter June 19, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

        No apologies necessary bud.——-there are gods among men——-

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