Advertisements

The Second Wives Club!

23 Jul

Introducing: The Second Wives Club

The Second Wives Club is a blog pitch that was sent in by a female reader who may be a permanent fixture on Because Molly Said So. She’s fresh and blunt with her advice and it’s hilarious in a “funny because it’s true kind” of way. (She also makes me want to make the switch from Planet Fitness to Fitness Unlimited.) The goal behind SWC is to educate men on what women are thinking and vice versa. If you’re a single guy and you don’t understand why you can’t pick up some tail at the bar, then maybe once you read this, you’ll understand the female psychology and who knows…maybe by Friday night you’ll be indulging in a sweet make out session in the alley next to Payless in Quincy. And for all you single girls who are reading, you’ll get the low down on where to find hunnies and how to make yourself look available without looking too available. Don’t take offense, take her advice and enjoy! Being single doesn’t have to suck!

Dear Men: Can’t A Girl Get A Drink These Days?!

They say that “good guys finish last”, but what about good girls? That quote sucks…who cares? In the end we both win, right? Maybe? Hopefully?

My theory is that the lack of chivalry in this world is due to the lack of economy. Who raised these people?! Nobody knows how to court a lady, buy her a beverage or even hold the door for her anymore. It’s pathetic!

If you want a chance at anything at all, your best bet is to buy a girl a drink. Please note that this does NOT include shots. If there is anything a girl doesn’t want it’s to be offered to do a shot with you and your buddies, UNLESS you’re a girl from Weymouth. No girl of class will say yes to a shot, but they will say yes to a drink and better yet… dinner. If I’m casually talking and laughing with you at the bar and you ask me and all your guy friends around us if we want Jager bombs while I’m literally sucking the ice cubes out of my vodka soda…it’s over before it even started. Every other state and city I’ve been to has been the complete opposite…drinks galore! But in Boston, the guys don’t seem to have any game. Maybe this is because they all are so tough. I’m not saying I’m only looking for freebies, I’m just saying to show some chivalry, some class and some manners and maybe you’ll have a chance. It’s just a drink!

And Ladies….

PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN!

Sure you might of hit it off with some guy from the ‘burbs after you’ve spent the night with your girls down in the Seaport, however, if by the following 2 or 3 days he’s MIA….he’s not interested. If he’s not calling, texting, tweeting, Facebooking…LinkingIn ha!, he doesn’t care. TRUST me on this one. So don’t be the pathetic girl crying to your homegirls that Mr. Wrong isn’t calling you back. Don’t sit there waiting by your phone for him to call, go out and meet some NEW people! If a guy wants to take you on a date he will be adamant about communication and making that date happen. Stop making excuses for him.

We all know that us girls can be the true reason chivalry is dead because let’s face it, although we all need to stick together, a lot of us girls act like dogs and cheapen our image as a whole.

What to Do (and WHERE to go!):

So you’re probably asking yourself, “Well if I can’t find a decent man down Marina Bay or even the wanna-be-Miami-roof-deck of Alba’s, where do I find my knight in shining armor?”. And if you’re a guy you’re probably asking yourself: “Where will I pick up the next round of hunnies if they ain’t showin up to S6?”

The answer: take the unconventional route.

Some of my favorite SLS’s (Single Lady Spots):

-Home Depot
-The Gym (this does not apply to Planet Fitness. Please get yourself a free 3 day trial to Equinox and then take me up on this suggestion)
-Stop & Shop on a Wednesday after 7pm (especially the deli. However avoid the guys buying non-Boar’s Head. If he likes cheap meat he probably likes cheap women)
-Sports Bars (especially on game night!)
-Golf Courses/Country Clubs

We all have those down-in-the-dumps “I hate being single” days…so why not pick yourself off and head to Home Depot and find a DIY project that sparks your interest. Ladies, the men of Home Depot love nothing more than seeing a put together girl checking out paint charts, 4×4’s and light switch covers. The staff is literally standing there in their orange smocks waiting to compliment you and the men shopping at Home Depot are constantly checking you out. However, one time I did have a creep follow me out and ask for my number in the parking lot. Ummm, no thanks. Another time, I rented a steam vac which a lovely Asian man gave me a tutorial about but it proceeded to ruin my $1k suede sectional. So, proceed with caution.

Wednesdays are my favorite nights at any grocery store. The deli doubles as a real life meat market. Dress if your best yoga attire (and by this I mean invest in a nice pair of Lululemons, don’t rock your 2002 Juicy Couture terrycloth pants or even worse, your Victoria Secret PINK pants…you wonder why you’re still single.) Every bachelor/ette does their shopping on Wednesday nights. It’s right before the weekend and it’s a great way to stock up on hump day. It’s amazing how many men come right from the gym to the grocery store…HOT! It’s an amazing time to shop. Oh and ladies, if you don’t choose to go in yoga attire….a pair of flats, a JCrew blouse, a pair of well fitting jeans will do the trick. Maybe even put a blazer on and look even more professional!

Sports Bars, Golf Courses and Country Clubs can be a hard place to navigate. Sure sports seasons come and go but you know who never goes? Those annoying girls in pink Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox attire. You look like you’re 11, so stop thinking this is acceptable/attractive! And if your baseball hat is bedazzled, you might as well just remain single for the rest of your life. My advice to you is to brush up on sports and look like a truly educated sports fan (I keep every sports schedule of each season on my fridge).  Know who is playing and when. You don’t need to know the difference between a fumble and a foul ball but at least know a few of the players. Have your dad and guy friends keep you in the loop with this information! Do not go to the bar with a group of your girlfriends during sports games. You’ll be the annoying girls at the bar and therefore unapproachable. Do however choose ONE of your closest and go to a nice sports bar. Little make up, nice outfit and easy on the perfume. Rmember: NO PINK SPORTS ATTIRE! Throw on some skinnies, a white tee, some flats and BOOM! American Apparel and H&M have amazing hoodies, too (FYI). Most importantly, be down to earth. Monday Night Football will help you get through cold weather months and get you out of a rut.

And FINALLY,

Find any golf course that has a public restaurant and bar. Need I say more? Hunnies, hunnies, hunnies!

Follow my advice and I promise that you will be thanking me later!

Advertisements

One Response to “The Second Wives Club!”

  1. Jamie July 24, 2012 at 11:32 am #

    I have to say if you find a man who still has money on a Wednesday night he’s definitely a keeper.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: