What Is Wrong With Everyone?

10 Aug

Okay, so I’m really starting to feel old and I shouldn’t because I’m only 25. And that’s young. Like, I’m a baby and I know this. But I’m noticing more and more some crazy ish that I just do not get and I’m starting to feel older than I am. And please, I’ve had my share of fun and craziness. But at this stage in my life, the most I’m down for is a few light beers, perhaps some wine, but it gives me heartburn so only a little bit, and just hanging out. That’s all. Just like to keep a nice buzz without feeling hungover and ruining my Saturday. I have housewife thangs to do on Saturdays and I need to be in good shape to get my crock pot goin’. Sometimes events call for a little extra fun, but my body can’t handle that the way it used to and I don’t see the fun in puking up my dinner. Instead of cocaine, I’d prefer a low key evening atop a roof deck. I feel no need to go to crazy places that stay open all night, because I think sleep is kind of cool and I don’t get enough of it during the week. So now that I feel like a complete grandmother, I have to ask:


I keep hearing about this hip new drug called “Molly”. Pure MDMA. Makes people roll their you-know-what off. I see pictures of my friends’ younger siblings and just people who graduated 4+ years after me and they are all raving. Yeah, RAVING. Is this the 90’s? Where would one find a rave? Providence? Filthy. Like, I’m talkin’ glow sticks, crop tops and tassles, neon all over the place, crazy hair, Ring Pops, way too many plastic bracelets, dilated pupils. The whole bit. When I was in high school, there was no Molly. “Taking Molly” back then meant kidnapping me or another girl named Molly of the area. I mean, I had heard of it. But it wasn’t on the scene. Ecstasy was available at your local Asian drug lord, but that was the gist of it. And I don’t remember anyone ever mentioning local raves. No desire for that. And I don’t know if this Molly culture is going on in high schools, the people I see partaking in the Molly-like events are, like I said, only a few years younger than me.  Which means, they are not in high school. Which is another thing I just don’t get. Why do people start experimenting with drugs like Molly after high school? When I graduated high school, I was just busy working part time and going to school full time and drinking on nights that I shouldn’t have been. I have never gotten this urge to suddenly start raving. If I want to wear bracelets in excess, I head to The Paper Store and purchase more Alex & Ani’s. Sometimes I drink a 12 ounce Red Bull and sing in the car on my way to work in the morning. Is that raving? I think that’s  just called “Being a morning person”. Um, YOLO?

I’m totally not judging anyone. Seriously, I do not care what anyone does with their time. This whole Molly phenomenon is just weird to me. It’s like when people who have NEVER smoked a day in their life turn 18 and decide “Hey, this would be  a GREAT age to start chain smoking Newports! I’ve ALWAYS wanted to smoke fiberglass and being 18 makes it SO easy!”. I just wonder why people start wanting to experiment after a certain age. Like, you’ve gotten this far without overdosing or getting an addiction or draining 98% of your brain’s serotonin. Why start now? I mean, I love me some euphoria now and then. So that’s when I break out my Jagged Little Pill CD and perhaps grab some McDonald’s fries. That’s about as good as crack. Very nostalgic. Alanis can bring you back to the 90’s without any psychoactive drugs/smelly Providence raving. Call me old fashioned, but I’m sticking with alcohol on the weekends. I’m all the Molly I need. You do you.  Have fun, ya cazy animals. Don’t get as crazy as Andi did when she popped a roll on Dawson’s Creek.

…Do you listen to this while you rave?


3 Responses to “What Is Wrong With Everyone?”

  1. shauna August 10, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    Remember that time that Andy took ecstasy at a rave on Dawsons Creek? That was almost as good as Jessi with the caffiene pills. I let the high schoolers on my tv handle that stuff lol.

    • M.McKenna August 10, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

      I watched that episode the other day. Intense one. hahahaaha

  2. Mary August 10, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

    I love this! May I print it and share in with my patients? They end up with me because of too much Molly. Not that there could ever be too much writing by Molly…

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