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Sticky Fingered Friends and Graphic T-Shirts

28 Aug

Hi Molly,

I’m writing to you for some advice. I basically caught one of my girlfriends stealing from me. I caught her redhanded. We were getting ready to go out one night this month and I had a Forever21 bag on my bed with a very distinct graphic t-shirt in it and some other stuff. This friend was the only one in my room since I had gotten that shirt. The next morning, I went to get the t-shirt, and it wasn’t in the bag, or anywhere. Trust me, I looked everywhere. I didn’t want to immediately accuse my friend of stealing it from me because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt – especially my friends! But a week later I was on Facebook and lo and behold, a family member of my friend uploaded a picture of her at some family party. In the picture, my friend is wearing MY T-SHIRT! As soon as the picture was tagged, my friend detagged it, which proves her guilt even more. Should I confront her? I feel so awkward, but I want my t-shirt back!

                                    -Feeling Awky in the Point

Dear F.A.I.T.P,

First of all, never use “awky” again. Second of all, is your friend from Point, too? I guess I won’t go there…

Now to answer your question which admittedly, I am torn over:

On the one hand I want to say no, don’t confront your friend. She’s not your friend because if she were, she would think your friendship is worth more than $12.99. But on the other hand, I want to tell you to thank your friend. She prevented you from wearing a cheap graphic tee. Tell me it had a picture of a childhood cartoon character and that will urge me to tell you to send her a thank you Edible Arrangement. I’ve never understood people who wear graphic T’s. I mean, I guess it’s okay to wear a green Irishy tee on St Patty’s day. And honestly, who doesn’t love a free bar crawl t-shirt? Maybe a band or rapper t-shirt – such as the Wutang party shirt laying next to the bottle of Garcinia Cambogia on my floor right now. But like, what about those people who wear t-shirts with like, Tweety bird on them in every day life? Are they just entirely giving up on looking presentable? Because they are getting their point across and might as well pair their t-shirt with mom jeans. And if the shirt doesn’t have cartoons on it, please don’t tell me that it’s “artsy” because it has some trippy design on it. We give men a hard time for wearing Affliction and equally terrible graphic tee’s. Let’s not be hypocrites by wearing them ourselves.

Look, if you want the t-shirt back that badly, just go back to Forever21, wait in the absurdly long line while listening to that seizure-inducing music, then flaunt your stuff  in your tacky attire and if you run into your sticky fingered ex-friend in public while you are both wearing it then maybe you’ll learn your lesson: stop dressing like a tacky person or people will think you are tacky.

Thanks for writing to me!

xoxo

*Gossip Girl

*Molly

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