Anonymous Email

29 Aug

Usually I like to make this blog lighthearted, but today I got an email from someone who didn’t leave a name or anything, and wants me to post this, but remain anonymous. It’s about their personal struggle with addiction and I wanted to share it because it hits close to home, as I would we all know someone who is struggling or is struggling themselves with addiction. I didn’t edit it, just literally copy and pasted as is. Don’t want this to start a comment debate over whether or not addiction is a disease. Addiction is a reality and I just wanted to maybe give someone some insight, in the chance that reading it could help someone. Or encourage others to reach out to someone they know is struggling for support. Or in general, just make us think twice before we judge someone. Thanks to the individual who wrote this, for sharing a personal part of his/her life and thanks for reading. If you can help just one person…

I’m gunna sound hypocritical here but oh well. I’ve been seriously fighting my drug addiction for a year now. My first time I went to detox was in september and I was good for a couple months. I got on the vivatrol shot that’s an opiate blocker and makes me sick if I use. My drug of choice was/is percocets. Never got into heroin cause I can’t stick myself with a needle. Luckily. Anyway I had surgery… And one thing led to another ending up using again. 2 months later I was back in detox. And I’ve been clean since april. I’m still fighting every day been on the shot since mayand it works. I’m lucky enough to have good insurance. Very lucky.
Unfortunately it took a lot for me to finally ask for help and stop being an idiot. Do I have a disease? I don’t know. I know I can’t handle recreational drug use. I liked feeling numb. I don’t know why I’m writing you this but it feels good.
Anyway I’m sick of these fucking idiots who say they wish they could get clean. GET HELP.. Its out there even if you don’t have insurance. People worry about the medical bills… Fuck that I was using close to 200 dollars a day. That’s more than enough to handle whatever copays you get through mass health.
people keep making excuses and it pisses me off. When you’re ready for help ask someone.
Its sad seeing all these addicts walking around all fucked up the south shore and boston.
Don’t these people want better? I know I do. Its a fight and you have to find it within yourself to make it.
There’s no answer to everyones problems… People need to be held accountable for their life and when they choose to live their life numb and fucked up they might as well rot.
But not every addict is the same. I’m just sick of people grouping us all together. Everyone loses their way for awhile. And using the percs and heroin to numb it seriously fucks with your head and your life.
I don’t know why I’m sending you this. Its just a way to get it out with keeping myself protected I guess


3 Responses to “Anonymous Email”

  1. Chasen August 29, 2012 at 7:18 pm #

    Email the kid my number tell him im 6yrsthe clean and its easier to not fight it alone.

    I stopped fighting 5 yrs ago -but its possible.

    Thanks for posting this

  2. Auntie Judy August 29, 2012 at 7:43 pm #

    So glad your staying clean! I am proud of you! You are stronger than you know.

  3. Mel C August 29, 2012 at 8:21 pm #

    Thanks for posting this, Molly! You’re right – addiction is a reality. And recovery is real. We’ve all seen drugs destroy those we love and their families. Holding yourself accountable for your actions is hard. But asking for help is even harder – probably one of the hardest things you can ever do in your life. But you can do it. For every one person who is ignorant enough to judge you there are at least two who are extending their hands out to help you. I wish health, happiness and recovery to the person who sent you this email and to anybody else fighting addiction. Just remember: you’re never alone.

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