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Cell Phone Etiquette

17 Sep

Cell phones are both a blessing and a curse. While they’ve made life so much easier for people to get in touch, they also have given people an open line of communication at almost any time. It’s still so strange to me when I see 14 year old’s with a cell phone of their own. When I was 14, the only use I had for a cell phone was to play the game Snake on my mom’s gigantic Nokia. None of my friends really had cell phones. We had our best friend’s home phone numbers memorized and if we couldn’t get a hold of someone to go out, we would physically go out and look for them. Walking around every single part of Wollaston in search of my friends kind of sucked, but it was part of life before cell phones. Now parents are like “Oh, I want my child to be able to contact me in case of an emergency.” Sounds legit enough. But why not just let your kid borrow your cell phone when you want to contact them? Everyone and their mother having a cell phone is only a recent trend. Kids got by perfectly fine without cell phones before. So is the “in case of an emergency” excuse really that legit? Because I think it’s just kids being spoiled. It’s crazy when I hear moms talk about their 16 year old asking for the new Iphone for Christmas. I’m 25 years old and JUST got an Iphone this year. Spending that kind of money on a cell phone killed me a little inside. I’ve never had the best phones, I’ve never cared about going online on my phone. I must admit at this point, I’m pretty addicted and going back to a shitty phone would be equivalent to losing a thumb. Despite giving in to the Apple craze, there are still things about cell phones that drive me batshit crazy…

First of all, there’s the little stuff. Don’t call me at 8 o clock in the fucking morning on a weekend. I get up at the ass crack of dawn all week, and I sleep as late as I want to on weekends. Would you call someone’s home phone number at 8am back before cell phones? No, you wouldn’t, unless you wanted to face the wrath of an angry mother. Just because you have a direct number to someone, doesn’t mean you can call them at all hours of the early morning. If you have some really pressing gossip you want to make me aware of, that’s fine…send me a text and I’ll see it when I get up. Stop being a stalker and go back to bed, psycho.

Another thing about cell phones that makes me crazy is when people call me repeatedly. Look, you call once, if the person on the other end doesn’t answer, they’ll see you called whether you left a voicemail or not. That’s the beauty of caller ID. You don’t need to call 17 times in a row until the person you’re trying to reach picks up. Obviously they are in the middle of something and can’t answer. Lay off, psycho.

Third, don’t send me chain text messages you got from your reclusive, weird uncle about a sobriety check point on Quincy Shore Drive and Neponset Circle. Good lookin’ out and all, but you can go ahead and assume I’ve already received the same text message or seen it on 58 Facebook statuses before deciding to shotgun 18 beers and hop in my Civic. I don’t need another reminder that people think I’m a total douchebag who drinks and drives all over town (I don’t).

And lastly, and the most annoying thing about cells phones, is when people assume that just because I own a cell phone, that I am obligated to answer their phone call or call them back. I’m not. I pay too much money a month for unlimited everything to accommodate to anyone but myself. My cell phone is for my convenience. Your cell phone is for yours. No one is obligated to answer shit. If my phone rings and I don’t feel like talking because I’m busy doing nothing, I don’t have to pick up. And when people ask why I didn’t answer, it’s none of their Goddamn business. I am allowed to screen phone calls. Sure, be courteous and don’t make plans with someone then not answer their call and proceed update your status from your phone. But other than that, I don’t owe anyone shit. Except maybe my mom. And sometimes I see a text and in my mind I will make a mental note to reply when I’m not busy. And sometimes I reply, and sometimes I forget. It’s not a diss to the person who texted me. I just forgot because there are more important things going on than answering a friend how last night was. More important things being my job…and not dying while I drive, etc. Chill out, psycho.

So the moral of this post, and the moral to most things in life, is that if everyone would just calm down for a second, and stop being so psycho, things would be fine. Put your fucking phones down for a second, and smell the coffee. You’ll be reminded that there is life outside of technology and apps. Then you can go back to playing Angry Birds for 6 hours and neglecting your infants.  Things will be fine, psycho.

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3 Responses to “Cell Phone Etiquette”

  1. KC September 17, 2012 at 3:10 pm #

    The thing that annoys me the most about cell phones is people who don’t know the word “discretion.” At this very moment, I can hear a girl about 50 ft away from me talking about her sex life on her cell phone. I don’t wanna hear about your dirty deeds while I have my morning bagel, thanks.

  2. Mom September 17, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

    i agree kids have cell phones SO young these days, as we speak my ten year old niece has the same iphone that I have, at 29. BUT I have to say, there were pay phones when we were kids, now a days if you DO find a pay phone, most likely it’s been peed on, or the reciever is missing. I do think they can borrow their parent’s phones (like we did before we got out own) and ALL survived 🙂

  3. Ginger September 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm #

    It’s even worse when people update their FB statuses calling someone one out for not responding. Clearly they are addicted to technology and have no life if they’ve called someone and didn’t get an answer but now they are stalking that person via FB.
    Why are you publically calling someone out? Or usually its not even public, its a sly remark like “YKWYR”… You’re not sly, you’re a stalker!

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