Advice: Not All Grown Ups Grow Up.

28 Sep

Hi Molly!

I have an issue I’d love to hear your opinion on. I work at a coffee shop and there is a supervisor at my job who yells all the time. Not just at me, but at everyone. Over trivial things. Is it acceptable for someone in a higher position to yell at an employee? This isn’t a job I plan on staying at long, I am just curious, as I’ve never been screamed at on the job and it’s more than a little stressful.

-Stressed Out Employee


Nope, not acceptable. I’m super sensitive and if there is on thing I hate, it’s getting yelled at. Like, were you ever yelled at by a teacher at some point during your childhood? Happened to me a few times and always made me cry in the bathroom because I never would expect it. As I get older and more psycho, I still cry when I get yelled at sometimes. I need to work on it. I don’t cry if people I know yell at me, I just tell them to calm the fuck down. But when people I don’t expect to yell at me,  yell at me, I just stand there in shock. My blood kind of freezes and my body stiffens. Like, why are you yelling at me? Someone much older than me from a job I had awhile back yelled at me once in a hallway in front of people over a stupid misunderstanding, and I literally almost peed my pants right then and there. Had I been in less shock, I would have said “Um, don’t care who you are to me, I am an adult and you do not talk to me like that“. Sometimes I think that people who are 20 years older than me still view me as a child, because I’m 25. Nope, 25 is an adult. Instead of saying what I know is true, I asked for a moment to regain my composure, and cried outside on the sidewalk for a minute, fixed my eye makeup, and went back into work. Not my finest moment. Live and learn. Working on it. I would never yell at someone like that, even if my position was higher than theirs. I believe you should speak to people with respect and they should speak to you with respect. Even during a disagreement. Not all “grown ups” grow up. It’s depressing to learn this lesson over and over again, but it’s very true. I try to remind myself that people speak to me the way I allow them speak to me. You should do the same.

Anyways, your boss probably shouldn’t be in a position of power if he/she doesn’t know how to treat people with respect. Does he/she know that it’s just a supervisor position at a coffee shop and it’s not like he/she is running Wall Street? Screaming doesn’t get the job done. It just makes your supervisor unapproachable. Not good for morale. Glad to hear you don’t plan on staying. Fuck it. WU TANG!



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