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Advice On How To Get Over Your “Soulmate”.

22 Oct

Hi Molly,

I’m 16 and just got broken up with by a guy who I am still so in love with. We were together for 8 months. I know that I shouldn’t love this guy, he’s kind of an asshole, he hates my friends, he cheated on me twice, and sometimes he would “forget to call” when we had plans. But I can’t help who I love and I feel like this guy is my soul mate. He is the only one who can make me laugh and I can’t see myself with anyone else. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago but still calls me to hangout sometimes, and when I did hangout with him we hooked up. What should I do to either get him back or get over him? I’m scared he’s going to find someone else. Please don’t be mean, I know I’m being dumb!

-Sad

Dear Sad,

Don’t be sad. You are not alone. Most girls get psycho about one guy when they are young. There’s actually a rule that I made up right now that gives every female the right act completely irrationally with ONE guy and get away with it. But there are some guidelines to that rule. First, you can only be irrational for so long. How long are you in the mood to be treated like shit? Because the longer you put up with it, the longer you’ll feel like shit. Sex & The City states that it takes half the total time you spent with someone to get over them.  That means you could be over this guy in 4 months.

The second guideline is that you are only allowed to bitch to your friends about it for a specified amount of hours. Trust me, they get sick of hearing it and you would, too. Girlfriends are there to listen and give you the best advice they can, but don’t abuse it by only talking about yourself for a year. Your friends are also there as a distraction from the hurt you are feeling. Use your time with them to laugh and forget. Perhaps light this guy’s house up with eggs. Then take a picture of it and email it to me, and we will laugh VIA email. Actually, don’t do that.

Third guideline says that once you’ve dated one bad guy, you are no longer excused from doing so again. Everybody gets one. Then it gets annoying REAL fast and no one will want to hear it and you’ll lose all wisdom credibility. That’s right, you won’t be able to tweet any wisdom. Live and learn, biatch.

Seriously, this guy sounds like a dick. He cheated on you TWICE. And he hates your friends, which is the biggest red flag known to girl. I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but you will laugh about it as soon as you’re over him. You’re only 16. When I was 15-16 I dated some kid who treated me like shit. I put up with it for so long that by the time I was a senior, I had wasted most of high school being hurt over him. Looking back, there was NOTHING about him that was worth that. I feel like I was inhaling toxic fumes to make me even remotely interested in this kid. I was smitten because he was my first “real” boyfriend (I thought “real” back then, but now I know it was not real…it was stupid). I don’t want to minimize your feelings by only saying “get over it, you’ll laugh later on”. I know that it’s true, but it’s not what you want to hear. Instead I will tell you what you should (or should not) do to be proactive about the situation: do not answer his calls. Put control back in your hands. Ignore him, delete him from your phone, block him from calling you or change your number. Keep yourself busy and just hangout with friends as much as possible. Create memories with people who are worth your time. Don’t waste the best years you’ll ever have on some chump that the future you wouldn’t give a second thought if he brushed up against you in line at a bar.

Oh, and just because someone makes you laugh, doesn’t mean they’re your soul mate. Have you ever stopped yourself mid laugh to ask yourself if you’re fake laughing? If you have, that means you’re fake laughing.

Hope this helps,

Molly

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