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If I Had Known Anyone Besides My Mom Was Going To Read My Blog, I’d Have Picked A Cooler Name

25 Oct

Sometimes 4 out of 7 nights, I like to go out. And 4 out of 4 of those nights I usually stay local. And 1 to 2 times during the night someone might shout “Are you Because Molly Said So?!” at me from across the bar. Sometimes not, but 100% of the time this happens, I turn bright red and get awkward and stutter an “ummm, ahhh…ummmm…yeah I guess”. Followed by nervous laughter. Then I look for a bathroom so I can let out an awkward sigh and rid myself of social anxiety. I am not telling you this because I’m a humble bragger. It would be silly to brag about people asking me if I have a blog about South Shore related shit, especially because I’m sure most of the time that these people are being snarky, condescending assholes (I can tell the ones who actually are being genuine, and it’s rare). Anyways, I’m telling you this not because I hate people asking me, but because I hate the fucking name of this blog.

I’m not sure how I came up with the name “Because Molly Said So”. I think I was talking to my friend on Facebook after writing my first post and I asked him what I should call it, and he just told me the first thing that came to mind, and I went with it. I thought a few of my friends might read it. I’m sure my friends have had enough of this blog. They are probably sick to death of it. I would be if I were them. I don’t care what my friends think of the name, they know I’m not a cornball. But had I known a stranger would be reading it, I’d have picked a much better name. Because you have no idea how many lame ass jokes I get in my personal life about this blog. I’ll be hanging out with friends, or family…whoever, and whenever I try to make a valid point in any kind of situation, or about any topic, someone sarcastically says “because Molly said so, that’s why!”. GOOD ONE! You’re the first one to go there. Awesome pun or whatever.

I constantly want to change the name of this shit to something that is completely untouchable. Something that decreases the sarcasm backlash in my life. I’m supposed to be the sarcastic one! Legit, I just want to rename it something so simple that it’s ridiculous. Like, Molly’s Fuckin’ Blog, for example. That’s it. Just Molly’s Fuckin’ Blog. Straight to the point. But now I’m told that it will hurt my pageviews. So I guess I’m stuck dying on the inside with these dumb ‘because she said so’ comments. I can only equate this to any instance when I’ve been introduced to an older person and they say “Hey! Good Golly Miss Molly!!!!. Listen, no Molly out there, whether she spells her name with a ‘y’ or an ‘ie’, wants to remind people of a Little Richard song that often.

I mean, I guess the song Molly Malone doesn’t bother me as much. But I don’t meet people named Eleanor Rigby and give them shit for being reclusive old women who have no friends, now do I? Don’t judge me.

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7 Responses to “If I Had Known Anyone Besides My Mom Was Going To Read My Blog, I’d Have Picked A Cooler Name”

  1. Mollie October 25, 2012 at 6:37 pm #

    Also unacceptable:
    1. “The unsinkable Molly Brown”. Oh yeah like I want to be in the same category as a chick pushing 300 lbs.
    2. “Molly dolly” No. Never.
    3. “Molly Mcbutter”. Being referred to as the butter equivalent of mrs. Buttersworth is cool.
    P.s. my deepest apologies for the terrible because Molly said so tweet the other night. I was unaware it was a sensitive subject.

    • Molly October 25, 2012 at 6:48 pm #

      hahahahahahahahahahaa I love this comment. Thanks other Mollie.

  2. poundlandprincess October 25, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

    I get michelle mybell sung at me on a regular basis and it pisses me off to no end.

    • Molly October 25, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

      I was originally going to use Michelle My Bell as my example, then opted for Eleanor Rigby because I thought it might be funnier since its not often one would come across and Eleanor Rigby.

  3. Sara October 25, 2012 at 8:59 pm #

    Everyone sings “Sarah Smile” to me by Hall and Oates – EVERYONE or looks at me crazy and says “do you have storms in your eyes?”. Yeah I have a fucking hurricane going on in my brain – RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT! You creepshow! It’s super annoying and super ridiculous. My last name is Ritchie and apparently that makes me related to Richie Rich – yeah the fucking cartoon character who’s first name is Richie (not last). Also a common one is “ha ha you must be related to Nicole Richie.” I’m a fucking white irish girl – do I look fucking black? No, I’m fucking see through!

  4. sean connery's ballsack October 25, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

    dont change it. Because sean connerys ball-sack says so.

  5. Kristina November 1, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

    My cousin’s name is Fiona…

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