How To Turn An Unexpected Day Off Into A First World Problem

30 Oct

Aside from a few poor schmucks, a lot of people got the day off yesterday due to the hurricane. I always try not to get my hopes up for an unexpected day off, so when I heard about the storm, I just brushed it off as hyped up rain. So you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was on Sunday evening to see that Boston public and surrounding cities were cancelling school. This was good news to me, as I work at a university in town. So like any psycho, I sat by my laptop refreshing the university website and email. Finally I got the announcement I had been waiting for: work was cancelled. Drinking commenced. But it’s not always what it seems…

Things start off GREAT. My best friend and I hit up Richard’s Market, got our supplies, and headed back to my apartment where we immediately ordered Great Chow. Because the first two things you need during a state of emergency for a storm that is not directly hitting you, are beers and Chinese food. Obviously. Don’t fuck up your unexpected day off by going to bed early without eating at least one crab rangoon. So anyways, I sat around relaxing, because I knew I had that safety net of sleeping late on Monday. Sometimes we can only be so lucky, because sometimes we don’t find out about our day off until the early morning of the day off. And that is the biggest bullshit ever, because you can’t even enjoy it at that point. You just get up even earlier than you would on a regular work day, because you are trying to find out if you have off or not.

Here is the thing about unexpected days off that aren’t so great. Yeah, I’m complaining about a few things, sorry if that infuriates you, but this is America. And we complain here. But yeah, one thing that isn’t so great: once you spend the evening beforehand like it were a Saturday night, and then sleep late the following morning, it’s all over from there. You wake up at around 10am, maybe go back to bed. Maybe get up and watch all of those trashy TV shows you miss while you’re at work. Maybe you take advantage of the extra day off by catching up on bullshit that you hate doing after work, like laundry. I don’t know what you do. But after you’re done doing what ever it is you’re doing, you start to get anxious. Why? Because now you’re spoiled and want another day. So the rest of the day off is dedicated to refreshing your work email and school cancellations. That’s right, I sat around like a fucking nutcase refreshing the laptop until I went to bed. I would take breaks from refreshing periodically to stare nervously out the window. I swear to God, I spend half of my day off researching the weather conditions for Monday night and Tuesday morning. To the point that I was stressed out. And when I’m stressed out I eat. So I heated up the leftover Great Chow and ate that. I literally sat there psychotically refreshing websites, while eating pork fried rice, and staring out the window. I have the laptop on my lap, the fan inside is broken and I had been on it so long that I was basically giving myself third degree burns. When I got bored of burning my legs, I complained about being bored and took Tylenol PM. So the day off that I so longed for was filled with TV shows that made me dumber while I destroyed the diet I’ve been kicking ass at for months. I literally had to medicate myself to sleep to stop myself from going stir crazy. Like…what?

Sigh. Why can’t I just shut the fuck up and be grateful for that one extra day off. Or be grateful that we weren’t under water like New York City and the Jersey Shore. I swear, you can’t give me an inch or a want another 100 yards. Someone slap me. I give you permission.


One Response to “How To Turn An Unexpected Day Off Into A First World Problem”

  1. mom October 30, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    great chow sucks,imperial terrace rocks

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