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Because Molly Said So’s 1st Birthday

28 Nov

Upon going back 1 year in blogs, I realized that today is Because Molly Said So’s first birthday. Kind of weird, because I feel like it’s only been one long, drunk week. In lieu of expensive presents, I’d REALLY love it if you could take one second of your time to share me on Facebook, or retweet me. Because that’s what really helps me in getting new followers. And more followers = more incentive to keep writing!

Having kept this up for 1 year, I just hope you remember all the import advice I’ve given you:

1. Graphic t-shirts are bogus.

2. Rider Strong is a dick.

3.Vera Bradley is a sin.

4. Caillou is a dick.

5. No one wants to go on your party bus. And if there is no bathroom on your party, not only does no one want to go, but those that feel obligated to go, now want to kill you.

6. If you go to a cookout, and only bring a 6 pack of Stop and Shop franks, people will talk shit about you behind your back. Opt for Ballpark franks. They plump when you cook ’em.

7. Making a gingerbread house is bullshit.

8. If you upload a photo from a Metro PCS phone, people will judge you.

9. Call of Duty is a homewrecker.

10. Hocus Pocus is overrated.

11. The worst thing you can do to trashy people, is stare at them.

12.  Affliction shirts won’t get you laid.

13.  People who don’t like The Beatles are untrustworthy/serial killers.

14. Maybe you got unfriended because you checked into the gym twice in one week.

15. Decorating your cubicle with pictures of you and your boyfriend on day 1 at a new job is really smug. At least wait until the 90 day trial is up.

16. Everyone has a friend who they think is going to flip the fuck out and kill everyone someday.

17. Being a mom doesn’t mean you need to trade in your Camry for a Windstar with Cheerios and old McDonald’s french fries wedged in the seats.

18. If a ginger that you have never met humps you at the bar while you are just trying to hang, it’s a sign that you should go home.

19. Plentyoffish.com is to dating websites as Myspace is to social networking. If you meet someone on Plentyoffish.com, the odds of them being a serial killer is 98%. If you meet someone, and they tell you they have no Facebook, but you can hit them up on Myspace, the odds of them being a serial killer is also 98%. The other 2% are just trying to get laid in a creepy way.

20. Nothing good happens at the Quincy Carnival.

 

Maybe this time next year, my list will contain at least 1 positive piece of advice. Anyways, thank you all for reading, for retweeting, and for sharing. Without you, I would have to pay my phone bill with my real paycheck 😉 Love you.

 

XOXO Molly

 

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4 Responses to “Because Molly Said So’s 1st Birthday”

  1. poundlandprincess November 28, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

    i dont know why but when I try to click on your blog posts it just refreshes the page and doesn’t actually like it, its only your blog this happens on, so just really telling you I liked it 🙂

  2. poundlandprincess November 28, 2012 at 7:12 pm #

    that should say when I try to click” like”

  3. Sister Mary Clarence December 3, 2012 at 5:43 pm #

    Happy Birthday you holy broad!

  4. Beka December 3, 2012 at 6:46 pm #

    Cheers! –here’s to many more years of you keeping me sane for a few minutes during my boring ass work day

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