Tired? Join My Exclusive Club!

11 Dec

Something that really gets to me is when people constantly complain about being tired. It’s like, join the club…everyone else is in it! It’s called the “Everyone Is Tired, You Fuckface!” club and it meets every day of our lives and is about as annoying and redundant as “join the club” jokes. Seriously, I see statuses like “I had to get up at 8am today! F my life!”. Dude, 8am isn’t even that early. I’d love to sleep until 8am everyday! Don’t get me wrong, I complain about being tired, I can’t help it and sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it because I am so tired. But when have you to wake up early once or twice a week, and never fail to complain about it, you have no idea how badly I want to tell you that you are a deadbeat human. There are nurses, fireman, police officers, and a million other people who work overnights. Moms get up early to deal with children all day. They can complain. I don’t mind. They work hard and I imagine it’s hard to get used to an overnight shift/caring for a child. But really, if you are someone whose schedule rotates on a weekly basis, and you have to get up at 7am a couple times, suck it up and get a turbo shot in your coffee. Because everyone is tired, and everyone gets up early and no one feels bad for you. No one.  In fact, everyone wants you to go back bed and fail and status update your negativity about why you can’t keep a job because Americans love to see people fall.

Another thought: If you do want to complain about being tired, at least be funny and not so whiny about it. Comedian Jim Gaffigan once tweeted “What exactly is the difference between waking up in the morning and getting punched in the face?”. Besides the black eye, there is no difference. My mom used to tell me I’d get used to waking up at 6:30am everyday. That’s a lie. Some people just are not morning people, such as myself. My first thoughts when my alarm goes off are “Maybe there will be a flash flood today and work will get cancelled”. because I want more sleep. Then I hop in the shower, nap against the wall for 10 minutes, and am awake by the time I am drying off. Waking up early is what billions of people do because we are human robot conformists set on world domination, and at the very least a white picket fence. If you want to complain about being tired every day, then maybe you should reprogram yourself by going to bed earlier and catch Catfish OnDemand instead. Everyone is tired. Wake the fuck up! CONFORM! Or get a job that starts after 10am…you hot mess. tired


One Response to “Tired? Join My Exclusive Club!”

  1. heather December 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

    Lol! That’s exactly what i did today….i knew i had to be up early to put the munchkin on the bus so i caught up on catfish on demand today!!!

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