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Worst Trends of 2012

13 Dec

Few things in 2012 I won’t hate saying “see ya!” to. I can only imagine it going downhill from here, but I’ll try to be optimistic about 2013. Let’s see if you agree with me on the most annoying shit that came out of 2012:

Faux Mustaches: Why? Besides Movember, I can’t think of one good reason why. Another retarded cutesy hipster picture for girls to put on Instagram. Since when is facial hair on women funny? There is some lady who comes into my work every once in awhile who has the most intense hair on her upper lip and it just makes me nauseous. It’s weird, this lady seems totally normal. Except she has a stache that’s half an inch long under her nose. Bogus. Let’s drop this trend forever. What’s next, faux sideburns?

Duck Lips: When girls stick there lips out in what they mistakenly believe is a sexy/kissy face pose for picture taking purposes. But, like…it just looks like they have botched lip injections/are auditioning for a 1997 Pringles commercial. Not cute.

Honey Boo Boo: Wouldn’t it be adorable to exploit a young child who is fed more caffeine before a creepy pagaent than I drink in a month, by creating a show that features her redneck/white trash family doing various degrading activities such as mud wrestling? Holla for a dolla!!! (That’s what she says, right?). Gag.

SMH: Perhaps the most ghetto acronym of all. Plus I’ve called bullshit on all of these verb abbreviations since LOL first hit the virtual scene. You’re not physically shaking your head when you say SMH. Liar. SMF (shaking my fist).

Unnecessary hashtagging: The hashtag was created for Twitter. It’s basically the subject you are tweeting about, and it serves to group tweets that are about the same subject together, and create a trending topic. When people who don’t have a Twitter account linked to their Facebook put 5 hashtags under a picture, or status, they look stupid. How stupid? Just as stupid as when people name their baby Hashtag.

No filter: Or maybe it’ll look more familiar to you if I call it #NoFilter. When someone types #NoFilter next to a picture, it means that they used no filter (no editing tools), so it will look like a regular picture, no airbrush, no color changes, ect. The most common use of #NoFilter is when girls upload selfies. They are usually letting everyone know that they  didn’t have to tweak the picture to look hotter. 99% of the time they will also hashtag #NoMakeup right after #NoFilter. Hey, I don’t wear make up every day. That’s right, zero. Does everyone ask me if I’m tired? Sure. But not one fuck is given. Because if I wore make up every day, then went a day without it, I’d look like a crackwhore by comparison. I’m just happy that some girls’ self esteem is so high that they can manage to go  without makeup long enough to take picture and upload it to Twitter. Although while they used no editing tools,  they absolutely took 20 minutes to get the lighting right in their bedroom to make their skin look flawless, and took the best picture out of 38. So brave.

Call Me Maybe Jokes: Hey I just met you, and want to kill you, because you beat a dead horse, so shut the fuck up”. #Remix. (Does that work?)

Chain and “Like This If…” Statuses: Some examples…

“The girl you just called fat? She has a serious medical condition called Big Mac Addiction. The boy you just said was smelly? He likes the smell of his own farts. The red head you just called a ginger? He cuts himself to episodes of Pete & Pete. The crackhead you just called a crackhead? He’s on crack. Next time think before you bully someone. Not many people will have the courage, but re-post this if you are anti-bullying.”

And this…

gma

Election Related Social Media Diehards: The people who get all defensive and hardcore on Facebook about politics. Hey, here’s a thought: Go hold a sign for the politician you want to win. It’s probably about as useless as your status, but we all want you to get rained on. Thank GOD the election is over.

Because Molly Said So: Who the fuck is this broad, anyway?!

So, we all agree, right? No more of this ^^^^^. Okay, fine! How about we are allowed to commit one annoying trend everyday. Like, if you want to read BecauseMollySaidSo.com, go on and do it. Just remember to tell your friends to follow suit!  😉

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5 Responses to “Worst Trends of 2012”

  1. cheyannimal December 13, 2012 at 5:22 pm #

    I also hate faux mustaches. I think mowvember was invented to help bring awareness to cancer that typically effect men, such as prostate cancer. How the fuck does this help? I don’t understand and don’t care.

  2. recoverymommy December 13, 2012 at 6:22 pm #

    I literally hate people who hash tag on fb!!! Does it have a use on instagram too? People are hash tagging like the color of their socks and ponytails on their instagram pics that are linked to fb. Make them stop!!!

  3. Mike Rogerson December 13, 2012 at 8:05 pm #

    What about people that change their facebook names to something ridiculous like Mike Fuckmyhaters Johnson for example. I noticed that has become increasing popular and incredibly trashy and annoying.

    • Molly December 13, 2012 at 8:07 pm #

      Yes! Wish I had thought of this! So annoying and ghetto!

  4. Jonathan Humphreys December 13, 2012 at 8:59 pm #

    I confess to making the odd “Call Me Maybe” joke a couple of times, but I still laughed my arse off at your version. 😆

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