Hate Mail

2 Jan

People always tell me to say “fuck the haters!” and just carry on with my life when someone sends hate mail. But I like to embrace my hate mail, and make people feel awful about what they say to someone that they don’t even know. Since I started blogging, I noticed a few common denominators when it comes to my haters. Number one being that they don’t know the difference between your and you’re. Usually I get annoyed when people are on constant auto correct, but since these people are hating on me I guess it’s okay to call them out. Case in point:

diedie2I just want to give these guys a tip so that next time they are perusing the internet for random blogs to shit all over, they don’t have any typos. When you are writing out a sentence and don’t know which your/you’re to use, just say the FULL thing out loud: “You are blog sucks”. Does that make sense to you? If not, opt for “your”. Make life easier on yourself. (Or as these guys would spell it “you’reself”).

The next thing I noticed was something I could only notice after doing some research (research = Facebook creeping). I found out that these people are grown ass men. I can’t help but feel bad for them. Their home lives must totally suck for them to be spewing hatred at a 25 year old female on the internet. Like, maybe they live at home with their moms, and eat Easy Mac on the regular. It’s sad to think that there are some people out there who can’t eat the good stuff (Annie’s mac and cheese). Some fun facts about the Josh guy is that he works at an Indiana envelope company AND has a beard AND  has Charlie Manson murder quotes listed under his favorite quotes on Facebook!  So dark! Sounds like the background of the protagonist on an offbeat anti-comedy comedy sitcom! Either that or a serial killer documentary. Either or.

A third thing I noticed about my haters is that they have no problems telling someone to die over trivial things like Elf on the Shelf contests. Like jeez, I knew us Americans are said to be desensitized to violence, but I would never tell someone to off themselves just because they wrote a 200 word blog on how they hate wrapping presents at Christmas. I thought everyone hated wrapping presents. I have a lot to learn…

Anyways, I’m still Beyonce, as I opted not to kill and or fuck myself this holiday season, and haters gonna hate.  Might as well teach ’em correct grammar.


4 Responses to “Hate Mail”

  1. Sister Mary Clarence January 2, 2013 at 10:14 pm #


  2. just sayin.. January 4, 2013 at 5:18 am #

    you misuse commas

    • Molly January 4, 2013 at 1:44 pm #

      You don’t use capital letters or periods. Just sayin’. 😉

  3. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital) January 5, 2013 at 8:35 am #

    Haters are complete dumbasses! I’ve had haters in the past too.

    They are sad losers with nothing better to do asides from bullying others.

    Stay strong!

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