Pretending To Watch Football

22 Jan

I am the type of person who just really can’t fake it. If I’m not interested in something, whether it’s a conversation, a movie, or anything at all, I have to get out of the situation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m nice about it and politely say I have to “go over there now” to exit the situation. Hey, it’s better than yawning in someone’s face, right? I just cannot sit there and pretend to be into something that bores me to death. Football is one of those things that I cannot pretend to get into. You ever watch a football game, or any sports game, with a girl who clearly doesn’t know what she’s talking about and it sounds like she’s trying SO HARD to impress the guys she’s with? I’m not saying girls in general don’t know anything about sports, I know plenty of girls  that know a lot about sports. But there is usually that one girl who is obvious about faking it and forcing herself to like it. How can you tell? Well, for starters she wears a pink jersey or hat. She also spends more time status updating about the game than she does watching it. Because she wants everyone to know that she’s watching it, and that she knows other football players other than the hot ones. But back to my situation with sports, I am NOT the girl who knows anything about sports and I am not the girl who can pretend. I can look at the television, but I am totally zoned out to the actual game. I literally just sit there and sip Bud Light and STARE at football player’s bums. I’m not some uptight girl who can’t “hang with the guys”, I just would rather cook delicious for the guys, and drink, and stare at bums. At least I’m not being fake, right? I even truly get upset when the Patriots lose. Instant buzz kill for everyone around me, sometimes making people go home early. It also sucks when your team loses because I use games as an excuse to go out then take a vacation day from work on a Monday. How awful is it to waste that day not being hungover from game night?! So am I alone in this? Does anyone just stare at bums when they are pretending to watch football? How can anyone help it, those pants are so tight!



2 Responses to “Pretending To Watch Football”

  1. CM January 23, 2013 at 4:41 pm #

    Hahaha totally. This is totally me. I even discourage guys around me from trying to explain what the fuck is going on because it is a total waste of time. I have a total mental block about understanding the game of football. I get the basics: 2 teams, 4 quarters, 4 downs, field goals, touchdowns, something called an interception..whatever. I just can’t put it all together and frankly I just don’t care enough. I equate it to trying to explain the storylines in the Real Housewives of ________ or Teen Mom to a guy. They don’t really care, and are only watching it to spend time with you, but they are totally zoned out and just DGAF about our reality shows or celebrity news. I like going to actual games and getting into the whole experience, and I absolutely support the Patriots and feel sad when they lose, but it in no way affects my mood for more than like an hour.

    PS- football players have the best bums in sports.

  2. Josi January 23, 2013 at 6:56 pm #

    Love your opinion on this, been saying the same exact thing for years! “I just would rather cook delicious for the guys, and drink, and stare at bums.” the bums!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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