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Mason Jars: A Journey Into Adulthood

20 Mar

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If I could describe my childhood in 5 words, those words would be: pogo, power, ranger, overalls, bangs.

If I could describe my adulthood (thus far) in 5 words, I couldn’t. I can only think of 4 words. Those words are: colander, Pino, mason, jar.

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By far, the mason jar is the most prominent object of my adulthood. Why? I don’t fucking know. All I know is that ever since I moved out of my mom’s house (which coincided with signing up for Pinterest), I got really into mason jars. Like, I have these 5 shelves build into a cabinet in my kitchen, and I looked at those shelves long and hard and thought to myself “mason jars”. Next thing you know it, I’m at Christmas Tree Shop throwing 5 mason jars in my cart. I get home, throw some sugar, flower, tea bags, ground coffee, and umbrellas for fancy drinks into these jars. Perfect.

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Months pass. The mason jars don’t go away. I find myself getting excited at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill. I find myself loving the beers served in mason jars more than I love the bar and grill or Toby Keith. Combined. I savor the beer in mason jar until the clock strikes whatever hour they stop serving beer in mason jars out of fear that knuckleheads will bottler..er, mason jar, each other in the head and sustain an injury. Not me, I wouldn’t mason jar someone. That’s a waste of a mason jar. And where would we put our drinks, flour, sugar, fancy umbrellas, tooth picks, small animals if we broke our mason jars over someone’s head?

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More months pass, I get engaged. Every time I think about my centerpieces, I envision pretty things sticking out of mason jars. Flowers in mason jars, beads in mason jars, shells in mason jars, marbles in fucking mason jars!!!  I shake the mason jars out of my head. I am not having a rustic wedding, this won’t work!

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Cut to this past Monday: I am on my lunch break, perusing wedding websites for favor ideas. I come across personalized mason jars…with handles. This is fantastic. I order 230 mason jars. Mason jars for days. Fin.

a·dult

/əˈdəlt/
Noun
A person who is fully grown or developed.
 A person who puts shit in mason jars.
Adjective
(of a person or animal) Fully grown or developed.
 A fully developed lover of mason jars.
Synonyms
noun. grown-up – major
adjective. grown-up – grown – mature – full-grown – big – ripe
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One Response to “Mason Jars: A Journey Into Adulthood”

  1. Sally March 20, 2013 at 6:59 pm #

    I love Mason jars too (also a recent discovery) and Etsy has some great ideas too. Have you heard of the cuppow??? Google it. My new love, cuppow, mason jar and a handmade cover from Etsy 🙂

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