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Bad Boys: I Don’t Get It.

23 Jul

Okay, this is my first time reeaaallyyyy giving this night blogging thing a try. I’ve been lying to myself (and you) when I say I’ll do it just as much as I day blog, but a thought popped into my head and that’s when you gotta start typing! Or you lose it. So try to stay with me, I’m about 5 minutes into a Tylenol PM (I’m a fucking adult now, and us adults sleep. I guess). Shit might get weird. Fair warning: I am not going to transition. I am just going to bluntly go into new thoughts. Ready? Let’s GO!

Why do females still like bad boys? I don’t get it. I liked bad boys back when I still had a curfew and bad boys were merely juvenile delinquents. Back when it was cool. (Wait, what?). Remember when you were 15 and your dad hated your boyfriend because he “looked like a punk” and also because he saw you sucking face with said boyfriend on the corner near the Quick Pick and you thought hickeys weren’t disgusting/disturbing because you weren’t mentally able to distinguish white trash from non white trash? You know, the boyfriend who came from the “wrong side of the tracks” (by “wrong side of the tracks” I mean anywhere not within half hour walking distance of Wollaston)? He was kind of an emotionally abusive dick, with the potential to be a wife beater in his 5 year plan, but he was kind of cute in an ugly way and you could dig it? Yeah, that bad boy. With his dirty Sheltoes and earring in one anomaly of an ear.

What happened to that bad boy? He probably dumped you and you cried because you were stupid and 15. But after that one asshole (okay, maybe those 5 assholes), you grew up and decided, “Hey, I like myself. I want someone who isn’t a dick. I want someone who doesn’t think getting arrested is funny. I want someone who doesn’t find it difficult to be GOOD!”. Because I don’t get that. Why the fuck is it so hard for some people to just not get arrested? Some people really just can’t not get arrested. Take Aaron Hernandez for example: what was so hard about staying in and having intercourse with models all day?  Why did he feel the need to go out and murder people? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO NOT BE A DICKHEAD?

I know the answer: some girls like bad boys because some girls have low self esteem. And some girls like the thrill. And some girls are white trash.

But I still don’t understand.

These girls that write to bad boys in jail. These girls who give these bad boys who can’t hold down a job money for their Boost Mobiles.

What do you even talk about with a bad boy? How to make a crack bong? How they were released a month early on good time? How life was easier when dime bags were relevant? How their parents’ divorce wasn’t amicable? How prisoners rights to education is in the top 3 important social issues? How they have “wrong time, wrong place” luck?

Another thing about bad boys is they talk about cities/towns based solely on jails. Like, when you ask what they’ve been up to they are all like “Just got out of Dedham”. It’s like, um, cool…did you stop at Yardhouse on the way out? Because those vases of beer are TOO DIE FOR! Not literally, don’t “shank” me” or whatever you call a stabbing these days.

Bad boys are overrated. I don’t want to talk about any of that stuff bad boys want to talk about. Dedham, Walpole, Suffolk, spliffs, spoofs, freebasing cocaine, etc. It’s not cool. It’s juvenile. I want to talk about aliens. Aliens are cool.

Namaste.

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One Response to “Bad Boys: I Don’t Get It.”

  1. William tells all July 23, 2013 at 9:04 pm #

    My theory: There are also bad girls.

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