Age 26

1 Nov

Here I was thinking that middle school was an awkward time. Don’t know if you are too old to trick or treat and sleep with beanie babies, or if you are too young to be funneling your parents’ vodka stash into a Poland Springs bottle to share with your friends behind your elementary school (you’re too young). Just an age when you don’t know how to act. Now I am 26 and I am finding myself in a similar stage of awkwardness. What is age appropriate behavior? By habit of only being a teen myself 6 years ago, when I find out someone my age is pregnant I sometimes accidentally find myself blurting out “fuck!” Then it dawns on me “Wait, that’s probably on purpose and they aren’t 16 and pregnant. They are 26 and married. So this is a good thing! That’s something to drink to! Oh wait, no that’s right, you can’t drink when your pregnant. Ha I’m stupid.”

It’s sometimes hard to remember people are (on purpose) making families and being adults and getting preapproved for mortgages when I feel like I’m 17 years old tragically stuck in the body of a girl whose metabolism is slowing down and can no longer handle hard liquor hangovers. I mean, I don’t think it’s fair that I can’t eat Wendy’s anymore without wanting to look at myself in the mirror while I cry and listen to Fiona Apple. I miss the days of eating what I want and drinking without stopping so I won’t get a hangover and thinking “that sucks” without feeling like a dumbass when someone gets pregnant by accident. But then I get the urge to do similar adult shit, like all the other pregnant people I see on Facebook. For example: I am getting married next Saturday. Grown up as fuck thing to do, right? I think so. But I’m still a child in that at my wedding shower my aunt told me to cut the cake and I didn’t know to cut a circle in the middle to make the pieces smaller so I just stood there almost with tears in my eyes with a cake cutter device cutting giant pieces of cake and dropping frosting on my white dress.

I am starting to realize that there may never be a time in my life when I don’t feel like a young adult who has merely lived a few extra years. I mean, I’m old enough to have bought my own crockpot, but still young and dumb enough to fuck up the easiest 3 ingredient recipes on earth and call my mom up asking her if there is a way to speed up the crock pot cooking process because I want to binge drink with the guys when the football game starts. And I’m old enough to have written thank you notes for my shower gifts before my mom had to ask… but young enough to ask my dad to mail them because I feel like my parents are the sole providers of stamps for their children forever, even though I don’t live at their residence anymore (unless the sense of entitlement is just a millennial thing and not typical of youth of all generations).

It’s not like my peers are guiding me toward a more or less mature direction either. Half of them are talking about marriage, the others are Sunday Funday’ing every single week from 9am-last call. Some can’t go out on Saturdays without a sitter, others are popping Plan B on a biweekly basis. Some have their own businesses and some can’t manage to stay in class long enough to get an associate’s degree. I mean, I stayed in last night (on Halloween) and Googled information on 3D printers, then went to bed at 9. What the fuck is that?! It’s an awkward age and I don’t know how to act. I want to have babies someday, but right now I don’t want to give up sugar free Red Bull. It’s a fucking conundrum. The old baby or the boat question. Do we ever really grow up? (I’ve decided to end my blogs with questions from now on so I sound more like  Carrie Bradshaw, even though I think Carrie Bradshaw is kind’ve a twat). Or do we just feel like inexperienced children forever while we pretend to be adults and not get accidentally drunk off wine at a dinner party on a work night?


3 Responses to “Age 26”

  1. Donna November 2, 2013 at 7:15 am #

    I have never related more to one of your posts. How does some 26 y/o loud mouth Quincy girl already have it figured out? Because you are right! No one has it figured out. None of us can believe how old we are and how fast time goes. And it’s ok to overindulge at a work party (‘specially if it’s free!) if you’re 26, 36, 46 (that would be me). This is the truth: you get one life, enjoy it, sensibly. See the world if you can. If you can’t, find a way! Be happy, be positive, be enthusiastic – it is the best age defyer (not a word I know). To quote ye ou and Ol’ Blue Eyes: Success is the Best Revenge. Very true. Always focus on yourself and the future. Define your success; it could be very different from anyone else’s. Some want a house, some want to rent and travel the world, some want a family, some want a career, some want a job, some want all these things. And it is all possible. It’s all up to you! keep writing. Much happiness to you!

  2. William tells all November 2, 2013 at 6:09 pm #

    So long as you don’t serve alcohol to your eventual minor kids AND don’t try to be your kids’ bff instead of a parent, your kids’ friends will think that you are the cool parent. Your own, probably not, however, the preceding is about as good at it gets.

  3. Renee mcmillen November 19, 2013 at 5:24 am #

    My mom always says, “I feel likes young chick in this old chick’s body.” And I didn’t really understand until recently. I just turned 40, but in a lot of ways, I feel exactly the same as I did 10, 15, 20, 25 years ago. There are plenty of times that I feel very immature. It’s a weird experience.

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