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What Is This Event You Call ‘Friendsgiving’?

27 Nov

Seeing this phenomenom called ‘Friendsgiving’ all over the world wide web this week. People celebrating Thanksgiving with their friends, duh! Sounds fun. But I’m a little confused about what this holiday is. I thought Friendsgiving was when you get monthly late night drunk Wendy’s with your friend(s), punch them in the face (or get punched in the face), cry, embrace, look for your shoes, then feel awkward about everything in the morning so you send a text that says “Let’s never discuss what happened…lol” and feel like it’s okay to go back to bed when they text you back in agreement. I mean, agreeing never to speak about shameful events that occur at 2am in Wendy’s parking lots is what everyone is grateful for. I think????? Like, one time 7 years ago at Johnson and Wales, my friend got angry at another friend and violently hummed a bag of fries at her face and we were unable to talk about it again until like, last year. And even now we just nervously laugh when it’s brought up in front of either of them. And I’m grateful for that. Isn’t that the true meaning of Friendsgiving? Guess that’s what Providence does to ya.

Anyways, I wish we could all just be on the same page with our traditions because I’m not in the mood to cook a fucking turkey for my friends. FRIENDSGIVING

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