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Who You Are.

26 Mar

 

waiter

You ever hear someone excuse their asshole behavior by proudly announcing that the behavior they exhibited was “WHO THEY ARE!!!”? And why shouldn’t everyone just be themselves and have no filter and be a tactless lunkhead because being a bitch is trendy!?  Everyone is on the defensive when it comes to “This is who I am and if you don’t like it then you can just light yourself on fire  while pounding sand infested with hypodermic needles!!!!”.  Before I go any further I want to clarify that I am by no means justifying not being yourself. Be yourself. All day. I am merely pointing out that sometimes you should shut the fuck up.  Because when you’re an asshole, I already know you are insecure about something, I just might not know what it is yet.

Now that I got that out there, I have a serious question:

What if who you are is an asshole? 

Ask yourself seriously: AM I AN ASSHOLE?  To the waitstaff, to the cashier at Dunks, to the janitor, to the girl a position lower than yours at work, to the UPS guy, to the crossing guard, to your FAMILY, to your FRIENDS, to your PARTNER, to BECAUSE MOLLY SAID SO? One of my biggest turn offs in regard to another human is when they aren’t nice to the waiter. This is an over-talked about subject, I get it. But it’s SO true. It’s awkward enough that you are demanding all this shit from a stranger who is on their feet all day, asking for refills, asking for more honey mustard, asking for a separate tab, etc. But after your requests, if you feel comfortable being condescending, rolling your eyes,  or complaining about total bullshit, then yeah, you ARE in fact  an asshole. Not to mention you are embarrassing everyone who you are dining with. No one thinks it’s funny. They just feel forced to overcompensate with a big tip. So basically YOUR assholeness is costing your friends money. This can be tweaked to every situation. And that doesn’t excuse you. You might think it does, but you’ve left an impression, and people will remember you for being a mean person for no reason. Then again, assholes are probably cool with that.

It kind’ve reminds me of when a flaky friend disappoints us and our defense mechanism is to remind ourselves or each other that “It’s just _______________________ and that’s the way she has always been and always will be.” Like, no expectations equal no disappointment. But WHY do we have to set the bar so low?!  The assholes are just getting away with being assholes because we are excusing them. Tricking our minds by telling ourselves that someday, all of the assholes will come across someone who will stop the asshole from being an asshole. More importantly though, if you are the disappointing asshole in this situation, why do you want that to be who YOU are? (And is it who you really are? Or are you just awkward and trying to hide it by being a douche? Because awkward is trendy now too and endearing as fuck, sooo….)  One thing I’ll never understand is why someone wants to be someone who goes back on their word, flakes out, treats people like shit, and is okay being that person.  Just be nice to everyone.  Period.  And if you can’t keep your word, then don’t speak the words. Because who you are is who you are, and you go with yourself everywhere that you go, and you leave pieces of yourself with everyone you meet, and why would anyone want to compromise that?

Just a thought.

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One Response to “Who You Are.”

  1. William Tells All March 27, 2014 at 8:25 pm #

    My theory: “This is who I am . . .” is the to be expected outgrowth in a state which has made the phrase “Do you know how I am” infamous.

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