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Tuesdays With Molly: EX-hibitionists In The City

11 Jul

Lately, as I said roughly one blog ago, I have been trying to add some new elements to my blog. You know, other than trashy Facebook statuses and blatant egocentrism surrounding my lower-middle class life. My newest “blog thing” will be a blog section called “Tuesdays With Molly” (A WORDPLAY ON MITCH ALBOM’S CLASSIC!!!). Every “Tuesday” (it doesn’t have to be Tuesday, PER SE) I will tell you a real life story from my real life. It will never be a fake story from my fake life. The BEST part will occur at the end of the blog when I add a clever schtick. That schtick will be “See you next Tuesday!” (A WORDPLAY ON THE WORD “CUNT!!!!”).  I hate that I just typed that word =( But anyways, here is this Tuesday’s story…with MOLLY.

My sister, a world renowned nurse in the city of Quincy, was parked at Montclair school on her lunch break today. She likes the finer things in life, like enjoying the views of parking lots and fields in subsections of North Quincy. She was eating her vegan (she’s a vegan. Or vegetarian. Whatever) meal when suddenly she saw a heavy set man dressed as Alice in Wonderland prancing about, with a small Asian man following behind with a camera. I know what your thinking: PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!! I don’t know what happened to having faith in people’s weird stories, but here is a grainy and unconvincing pic for all of you visual learners out there:

montclair

 

Like, what the fudge, right?

But that’s my sister’s story. It’s not mine. It reminded me of mine though. My story occurred when I was sleeping in Montclair. In a house, not in a park. So I wasn’t even really there. But my husband and his boyz were. They were smoking cigarettes AT 2AM like DEADBEATS in their early 20’s on a porch, while I was in a deep slumber. And walking up the street comes a heavy set man in a leopard print thong, smoking a cigarette, like a DEADBEAT in his 40’s. And they started to laugh pretty hard. And leopard thong man became suddenly aware that there were 20 year old’s looking at him, and laughing. So he began to heavy set sprint (he was wearing running sneakers). And my husband ran into the house to awaken me from my slumber and make me LOL. I don’t things are ever THAT funny so I fake laughed to humor him and went back to sleep.

I guess that’s not my story either. But my story is more of a question, that goes something like THIS:

Both of these men were heavy set weirdos from Montclair. Could this possibly be the same man?

fin.

See you next Tuesday!tuesdays

 

Photo credit to my sister, and Walmart.

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One Response to “Tuesdays With Molly: EX-hibitionists In The City”

  1. William Tells All July 11, 2014 at 7:50 pm #

    Hummm!?!?!? I can think of a few possible suspects AND all of them are tied to City Hall.

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