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Swinging Doors and Parakeets Don’t Mix

3 Feb

Once upon a time, I thought it was a good idea to get the kids a pet.  One pet would be lonely, so of course we needed 2.  I decided parakeets would be a great choice.  Less work than dogs but more enjoyable than fish.  Rookie mistake.  They are loud and they don’t want to be handled by kids (like most intelligent animals).  We would take them out and let them sit on our shoulders and fly around.  Andrew (4 at the time, 8 now) named them Bembie and Kah (pronounced the way you say the sound for the letter K).  One was blue and one was green and I can’t remember which was which.  What I do remember was that the green one was an ass and would bite you anytime you tried to handle him but the blue one was great.

Like any great children’s story, someone dies by the end of this.  Don’t believe me, read The Juniper Tree.   I had to stop reading it halfway through to the kids because it is so messed up.

One beautiful day we were playing with our delicate birds.  At the time, we had a swinging door that was propped open and the birds had flown and perched on top of it.  Andrew walked over and pushed the door to make them fly back down. The green bird managed to escape but the blue birds reaction time was a bit too slow.  The door slammed shut…the birds head was wedged on one side and…the body on the other.

It all happened so fast!  We had to get him out of there so my husband pushed the door back open.  That bird was a fighter.  It tried it’s damn hardest to fly but couldn’t.  It started to expel fecal matter and urinate everywhere.  I’m talking total and complete loss of bowel and bladder.  I picked him up and determined very quickly, he was not going to make it.

My husband said he could take him outside and “take care of it”.  I didn’t want him to become a bird killer (who knew I was such a bleeding heart) so I brought him to an emergency vet where he was euthanized for $10.  When the Vet was done he told me that he inspected the wound before putting the bird down and the spinal cord had been mostly severed.  His head was hanging on by a couple of ligaments and blood vessels.

I then went home and immediately re-homed our surviving parakeet.  After this incident, I have sworn off all birds!  We have kept two rabbits alive for over a year.

And all the other birds, not in our house lived happily ever after!  The end.

(If we are Facebook friends, there is a video of the burial…)

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