Advertisements
Tag Archives: married life

Children: The Ultimate Creep Repellent!

25 Jan
If you know me, you know that I enjoy adult interaction because it’s nice to talk to other humans that aren’t children every once in a while. You also know (if you read my intro blog) that I am married with 4 children. Although I like to talk to people, I’m not trying to get any guys numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, if someone flirts with me, I take it as a compliment but I wouldn’t want them to waste their time.

When I was about 24, I went out to a country bar in Virginia with my friend Ambra. We were dancing and singing and just having an all around blast. We had a of couple guys come up and start dancing with us and we just tried to casually walk away. There was no shaking them. We went to the bathroom and hoped they’d be gone. We showed them our wedding bands and said that we are both married. They didn’t “believe” us. Like what the hell, we just go around wearing wedding bands for shits and giggles? We tried telling them we were lesbians (which was probably confusing for them after we had gone on and on about how married we were).  Basically we were trying to drop the hint that we were not into hanging out with dudes and they were NOT picking it up.  We finally escaped by leaving, which put a damper on the evening.

Flash forward to 2017. I recently went out with some friends to karaoke and we were having a great time! There was this one guy that was talking to me on and off. Again, I’ll talk to anyone but I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. So one of my friends just leans over and lends me a hand (it was great). She blurts out, “Can you believe she is married with 4 children?!”

Let me tell you, this is a fantastic way to weed out the men who just want to have a conversation versus the ones who are trying to sleep with you. This guys eyes grew larger than a snapchat filter could make them.  I then followed up with, “Yeah, you don’t want any of that. Four kids is A LOT.”  I shit you not, he said, “You’re right” and got up and left the bar!

My recommendation for anyone who would like to enjoy a night out with friends is to have a story in your back pocket about the basketball team of children you’ve popped out (even if you have no kiddos). It’s sure to deter most, if not all interest. Anddd if that doesn’t work and your feeling extra bold, just talk about how itchy your crabs are tonight (even if you don’t have those either).

A note from Molly: Deanna is right, this is a proven tactic. You’d just better hope the creep in your general vicinity doesn’t have a preggo fetish. While on a walk during my lunch break a few months back, a man in the Boston Common gave me a flower, followed by the creep eyes whilst licking his lips (each a bad move on their own, nevermind in combination). I responded with the ole “Wanna help me raise my baby?” and rubbed my belly, and he looked like he wanted to snatch his flower back. I put it on my desk as a reminder that I still got it.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: